Parents' Role in Educating Their Children

I am no parent; I'm single and currently I'm still seeking (or waiting) for my life-long partner. However, on the basis of my observation, I know what people called parents should do to prepare their children for the 'harshness' of the world, not to mention the fact that I have gone through a childhood phase.

First of all, people should know that bringing up children is no easy task. It requires a lot of effort, money, time, and so forth. I'd say parents have (almost) full responsibility for their children since they didn't choose to be born: they arrived because of their parents' will. So, for those who want to get married and have children, think about this carefully.

Next, every parent must realize that they and their children are different individuals. Many parents – I hope I'm wrong – push their children to be what they want them to be (perhaps, this is most common in Asian countries). Every child – everyone, essentially – mustn't be forced to do anything; they have their right to do anything they want. Are you out of your head? You might be asking.

From my personal standpoint, parents' responsibility toward their children is to let them "see the world as it is". They need to inform their children of the many options or choices available on the planet, together with their implications, good or bad. I'm not saying that parents should give their 3-year-old a knife, as it would likely hurt the cutie. Parents should always lead their children to good, that is, the survival of our species, and they need to know when their children can think well enough to make sensible decisions and give them freedom from that very moment on. I think this is an honorable act parents can do to their beloved ones.

It is a pity that many parents – again, I hope I am wrong – expect their children to be "money-printing machines". They regard them as "investments". And, this is such a terrible idea. I hope the suicide cases of adolescents worrying about passing exams are not a reflection of this sort of situation.

Then, what should parents do? As I've mentioned, parents ought to be something like a detective. They need to work together with their children and help them to figure out what the best future of their loved ones is, without insisting on them fulfilling their egocentric desire. So, it is a matter of being a "partner" rather than a "ruler".

Nevertheless, it makes sense that parents are not the only ones in charge of this huge duty. This exciting job should be done in conjunction with schools. Why? Simply because schools are where they spend quite a considerable amount of their day, around one-third of it. So, schools, and especially teachers, also play an important role in creating a marvelous generation of people.

I was inspired to write this article thanks to an invitation to be one of the speakers on Profession Day – February 6, 2016 – at my junior high school. The content of my speech is roughly identical to the message of this writing, with a slightly different emphasis. If I were to summarize my talk that day in one word, that would be "passion". And I hope you will encourage your children by telling them a sentence like "Darling, follow your passion."

Continue reading

Language Is an Illusion

Why is that?

To begin with, there is a short tale for you to heed. Steve Martin is a British man. He was born in London 35 years ago and raised by his parents, who are also of London origin. He has spent most of his life, playing, studying, and working in his home country. Needless to say, having in contact with British culture and language for most of his time, his English is unquestionably excellent.

Now let's use a lot of third conditionals here: what if Steve had been born in Vietnam, where the official language is Vietnamese, not English? What if he had been brought up by parents who came from Quang Ngai, not London? What if he had had to nod his head a little bit, instead of shaking hands, which is unusual in Vietnam, when meeting someone for the first time? Would he be the one he is now?

Of course not. He would be very fluent in Vietnamese and his English might not be as good as his now.

(You might be wondering why there is a cultural question there. The quick answer is because language and culture are inextricable. Check out this awesome TEDx Talk by Tim Doner, a hyperpolyglot from the U.S.A.)

Now let's move on to YOU. What if you had been born, not in your homeland, but in another country? What if you had been brought up by parents whose mother tongue is not your native language? What if you had grown up getting exposed to a culture that is so different from the one you are used to? Would you be YOU?

No, you wouldn't. You would speak "that" language better than your real first language. Basically, you would be "a new you".

Getting back to Steve, if he were with his real parents in London, would they understand what Steve said in Vietnamese? Probably not. Would Steve understand what his parents said in English at a fast rate? Probably not either.

Now imagine "the new you" is now with your real family members at a monthly gathering at your maternal grandmother's house. Would they understand what "the new you" talked about? Probably not. In an exactly the same situation, they wouldn't get what the heck you were talking about and vice versa because of the different languages.

So what is this all about? It means language is nothing but a medium, or a system, as I like to call it. Language is only meaningful when a group of people (perhaps a tribe or a nation) agree on the "effects" it can give – I recall my high school friend told me that language is "an agreement". Or, in other words, it is an illusion. To see my tips for learning English, click here – be sure to check part 2 as well.

Actually this is what made me realize that to learn a language successfully is not that hard as long as you want to adapt to the "system". Or, to put it more dramatically, you must (want to) be "reborn' or "born again", like Christians are.

What is more, this also rebuts the notion that you need to be talented to be successful in languages. When we are talking about talent, we are referring to a small number of people, right? Now, how many French people can't speak French fluently? How many Germans can't write German in an effortless fashion? I believe only an incredibly tiny fraction of a nation are not able to learn and use their native language and it must comprise those with sight and hearing impairments. In short, language proficiency is not linked to talent.

To end this article, I would like to quote Tim Doner at the end of his TEDx Talk presentation "Breaking the language barrier" (find the link above):

"You can translate words easily, but you can't quite translate meaning."

Continue reading

Natural Selection in the Human World

The longer I live, the more I discover the truth of the theory of evolution by means of natural selection, proposed by Charles Darwin, an English scientist whose 207th birthday was just celebrated – on 12 February.

Charles Darwin statue at a museum

How? You might be asking. It is simple: by looking at our own society.

Let's play a bit of a game. Ask yourself what you do for a living? Got your answer? Now ask why you do that. Got your answer again? Ask again: why? Do the same procedure over and over, and if you are "normal" – by "normal", I mean you are not a psychopath or that sort of thing – you will end up giving an answer that sounds more or less like "so that (modern) humans a.k.a. Homo sapiens will always survive." Yes, the keyword is "survive".

You might be a computer programmer, trying to make the most helpful applications for the world (including for yourself). Hopefully, humankind  (including you, who gets a salary) will benefit in some way because of your work or products. You might be a doctor, trying to heal sick people or patients in hope that the existence of the human race will go on and on. Whatever you are, if you think about it carefully and thoroughly, this should be your ultimate purpose.

Now we look at the "agonizing" part. How many people are poor? How many people are on the street, begging for money and food? How many people are suffering? How many people have died before their life expectancy? This is probably the result of their laziness, which is a quality that natural selection doesn't favor. Their unwillingness to develop or improve themselves in some way is what caused them to be so. However, many of the pitiful are in their states not because of their "faults", but by misfortune: an example would be children with AIDS, who inherited the disease from their mothers. Thankfully, some people are so kind that they help these "unfortunate" people to live as long as they can, by being volunteers or that kind of thing (again, for the continuity of our species). It is a shame that racism still exists in the world: black, yellow, brown and white people are different variations but they are the same species, aren't they?

On the other hand, we see "successful" people, those who seem to be happy and are likely to live longer than others. They have worked hard, increasing their skill to contribute to the world, and as a result, they reap what they have sown. They are also more likely to have more offspring that will be great representatives of the next generation of humans. And, on a larger scale, we all should learn from these people and foster the good attitudes that they have in order to ensure our future existence as one species.

Continue reading

7 "Little" Things You Can Do to Make the World a Better Place

No-one can deny that we live in one big world called Earth. The globe is the place where we entirely spend every single day – unless you are an astronaut. And I think it makes sense to think that it is highly demanded that our dwelling place increase in quality so that every Homo sapiens individual living here can take full advantage of it.

I know that this post might not change your behavior in an instant, but I am glad that you have read this article up to this point so far, making my hope go up. The last mass extinction event happened around 66 million years ago, wiping out the non-avian dinosaurs and other groups of animals, and I am sure you don't want humankind to vanish soon. So, here they are: some things that you can do to make the earth a more enjoyable place to live in.

1. Give up smoking
This is probably a 'rusty' topic. But, let's give it one more try. I am pretty sure there are smokers in each country existing today. To the best of my knowledge, there is no single advantage of consuming this 'small killer', except for escapism. Some points to highlight:

• Smoking kills you and people around you
You already know so many diseases can be caused by smoking: cancer and those with believably Latin-derived names. And the thing is, you don't only kill yourself – yes, literally kill – but also take out your loved ones. And the unique thing is I have never heard of people put into jail because of this horrendous act.

• Smoking is a waste of money
In my country, Indonesia, a pack of cigarettes costs around USD 1. Let's say, you buy one pack a day: this means it swallows USD 30 per month or USD 360 per year. You could spend that sum of money on something useful such as the education of your children or high-quality dinosaur books such as Dinosaurs: The Most Complete Up-to-Date Encyclopedia for Dinosaur Lovers or All Ages.

Smoking is probably one of the most terrible ideas ever in the history of the human race. Sometimes I imagine what would the world be if all smokers just quit it simultaneously. Ahh.....

2. Stop getting drunk
Well, yeah, you know the health implications of drinking too much, not to mention the family quarrels that it has contributed to. You might throw some plates or knives, which might lead to injury or even death of your spouse and/or children. And think of what you would get if you spent that amount of money on dihydrogen monoxide. Yes, children in Africa could have drunk it.

3. Put trash in the proper place
Hmm... This relates to an 'excruciating' disposition of some humans. Actually, if you think about it, it is pretty simple. You buy a package of Keripik Karuhun in a convenience store and finish it up. Then, you realize there is no garbage can around. You just need to keep it until you find one along your way home. In addition to musty smells that sting everybody's nose nearby, huge accumulations of trash can trigger major floods, which affect people's lives in a not-so-good way. And sadly, sometimes it can switch them off as well. The problem is people often do something without thinking about any harmful effects it may cause. I hope you are not one of those. Remember our existence depends on us.

4. Say thanks and sorry
This seems to be a petty thing but I consider this "of huge importance". I often experience this kind of thing, people benefiting from a good favor without saying thanks and doing something unpleasant without saying sorry. From my personal viewpoint, saying thanks and sorry is an honorable act that makes people people. I base this on my experience: the feelings that I had when I received sorry and thanks, even though the objects concerned were of little importance, were 'overwhelming'. I smiled and it seemed as if there were flowers growing in my heart. I am not trying to be poetic or whatever else but this is an honest confession. In contrast, annoyance coming out from the opposite situation is surely irritating, bringing about a bit of a bad day. Saying thanks and sorry can bring happiness to the world and cause a domino effect. Yes! Let's do it – say them sincerely, though!

5. Avoid speeding
You are not a great driver if you do this. Instead, people might call you "the Grim Reaper" or something. The speeding case of Abdul Qodir Jaelani a.k.a. Dul, the third son of famous Indonesian musician Ahmad Dhani, in which he caused many people to die, has gotten many people to deem him evil. Speeding is only for those who want put their and others' lives at stake. Why don't you just sit at home, reading blog posts by Brian Switek?

6. Stop talking garbage and that sort of thing on social media
Technology has made almost everything easier. Communicating with people 1,000 miles apart is a piece of cake, nowadays, thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and the like. However, unfortunately, not everything produced there is satisfying. Many people use this advancement to express things that are not for the good of society. Often, they insult each other and boast about themselves, acting as if they are the most important people on the planet. They exhibit something that they shouldn't and the list goes on and on. The principle is simple: before you write or post something, think about why you should do that. Will it make you and others happy? Will it be helpful for the readers in some way? Will it contribute to humanity?

7. Reduce the use of plastics, paper, etc.
I am quite sure you have heard or been given this advice at some point in your life. It might appear to be a hard thing to do, but thankfully it's not. Three things that you can start doing tomorrow – or now:

• Going shopping? Use your own bags!
Whenever you want to go to supermarkets, remember to carry your own bags. I myself try to use my own backpack to keep the things I buy from minimarkets and stuff, and often I consume them as soon as the transactions are finished.

• Do not order takeout
Yes! Why not? You don't have to eat at home: just enjoy the food in the eatery like what I do whenever possible – perhaps you will meet your future spouse; who knows?

• In the restaurant, ask for reusable items (for example, stainless steel spoons) instead of disposable ones (for example, wooden spoons)

Bonus: Eat (and drink) all of what you have bought and ordered.
It's pretty simple and actually will help you save more money. Remember that we all are connected and make up the human race. Isn't it wise to share with our fellow humans by not wasting food and drink? Bear in mind that we all must be responsible for the resources that are available on our planet, including sustenance.

Let's unite and make the world a better place! Continue reading

A List of Jay Chou's Chinese Style Songs (Zhong Guo Feng)

Jay Chou, who is arguably (for many people) and surely (at least for me) the best musician in the world, is so talented that he can play a tapestry of musical instruments, including those of Chinese origin, such as the guzheng and erhu. This, with his superb musical ability, has resulted in him producing pleasant-sounding music of "Chinese taste", and among his true fans, I believe, this sort of music has its own place in their hearts. Here is a list of Jay's zhong guo feng songs, which I hope will color your life on a day-to-day basis!

Note:
• Personally, I think Jay Chou's songs can be loosely categorized since they are so rich in musical elements! So, this list is what I think can be strictly put into the zhong guo feng genre.
• For translations click here.

1. 東風破 (Dong Feng Po) → East Wind Breaks
2. 髮如雪 (Fa Ru Xue) → Hair Like Snow
3. 千里之外 (Qian Li Zhi Wai) → Faraway
4. 菊花台 (Ju Hua Tai) → Chrysanthemum Flower Bed
5. 青花瓷 (Qing Hua Ci) → Blue and White Porcelain
6. 蘭亭序 (Lan Ting Xu) → Lan Ting Preface
7. 煙花易冷 (Yan Hua Yi Leng) → Fireworks Cool Easily
8. 雨下一整晚 (Yu Xia Yi Zheng Wan) → It Rains All Night
9. 紅塵客棧 (Hong Zhen Ke Chan) → Worldly Tavern
10. 天涯過客 (Tian Ya Guo Ke) → Ends Of The Earth Passing Traveler
11. 紅顏如霜 (Hong Yan Ru Shuang) → Cold-Hearted

Please do share this article so that more people can enjoy this treasure trove!

---

Source: http://www.jaychoustudio.com/jay-chou-discography (title translations) Continue reading

Service

Actually, I should've written this article a long time ago. However, better late than never. Thankfully, I had that experience just now.

As you might already know, I am crazy about Vietnam. This Indo-China country has drawn my attention and, as a result, I have stepped my foot on its land twice.

One thing that always reminds me of Vietnam is Lotteria. For those who don't know it yet, it is a Korean fast-food chain, like KFC and McDonald's. In Ho Chi Minh City a.k.a. Saigon there are countless Lotteria restaurants. By contrast, in Jakarta, the place where I live, Lotteria is not that popular: it's opened possibly around 10 outlets – I'm not so sure, but I can guarantee there are many more in Saigon.

A few hours ago, I answered a labyrinth question posed by Lotteria Vietnam Facebook Page – but this article is not really about it. On top of that, I commented on the post, thanking Lotteria Vietnam, writing a bit about myself and my Vietnamese experience, expressing my liking for its products, as well as promising that I would eat there again on my third trip to Vietnam. What surprised me was what happened next.

The admin said thanks to me and, in a nice and friendly way, asked me to inform them when I stop by Lotteria Vietnam. Personally, this made me so glad! I was touched by the great service. Then, in an excited mood, I replied that I will do it and also take a photo there!

This might seem petty stuff but the effect is profound. I will definitely go back to Lotteria Vietnam, not only because of the quality of its products, but also its heartwarming service. In comparison, I have had a few terrible experiences regarding service (if I'm not mistaken, all of them are related to food), and I convinced myself that they were the first and last times I'd bought their products. What is more, I only remember one of them, since he does his business near my office. What a pity!

In short, a product can have greater value if excellent service is "packed" with it (even if the product itself is not really wow, according to my experience): it will always be remembered by its customers and, of course, ensure their loyalty.

Continue reading

Common English Mistakes: Present Simple and Present Continuous

Here is a list of common mistakes in the use of the present simple and present continuous:

1. infinitive without -s or -es (or has) with third person singular subjects (he, she, it, etc.)
Christina (= she) go to English classes every week. (incorrect)
Christina goes to English classes every week. (correct)

My brother (= he) have a thick dinosaur book. (incorrect)
My brother has a thick dinosaur book. (correct)

2. be + infinitive
I am eat bread every morning. (incorrect)
I eat bread every morning. (correct)

She's like me very much. (incorrect)
She likes me very much. (correct)

Note:
Barry likes Christina. (= Barry is interested in Christina, probably because she is kind, smart, etc.)
In this sentence:
likes = verb

Barry is like Christina. (= Barry is similar to Christina. For example, Barry is nice and Christina is nice too. Barry's hobby is reading and Christina's hobby is reading too.)
In this sentence:
is = verb
like = preposition

3. only v-ing (without be)
Johnny cooking in the kitchen. (incorrect)
Johnny is cooking in the kitchen. (correct)

Be quiet! My children sleeping. (incorrect)
Be quiet! My children are sleeping. (correct)

4. using the present simple when the present continuous should actually be used instead, and vice versa
What are you doing? ~ I have lunch now. (incorrect)
What are you doing? ~ I'm having lunch now. (correct)

She is visiting her uncle once a year. (incorrect)
She visits her uncle once a year. (correct)

I hope this article is useful for you! Keep on loving English! Continue reading