Know Your Own Power – Book Review

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Know Your Own Power: Inspiration, Motivation and Practical Tools For Life

by Dr Radha Modgil

Flawless Victory

Life is life, with all its chaos and tranquility, with all its "good" and "bad". Crises, challenges, and changes are bound to strike us at some point in our lives and we can feel frustrated, depressed, despondent, down in the dumps... You have come to a dead end, and it is as if your world is crumbling, burying you deep under the rubble and leaving you utterly helpless. Dr Radha Modgil wants you to know that this is NOT the case. You can rise up, go through those life dynamics, and end up conquering life as your true self.

Know Your Own Power by Dr Radha Modgil is an absolutely wonderful gift for humanity, for those facing hardships and hurdles in life. She writes passionately, affectionately, and empathetically, and I could really feel that Dr Radha deeply cares about the readers. Divided into three major sections: Getting Through, Stepping Up, and Moving Forward, this wisdom-laden, uplifting book is full of practical tips to help readers overcome what life hurls at them. If I have to describe this book in only one word, I'd say "home", because it is something that I will return to again and again... It is a place where you can feel comfort, consolation, and reassurance when life feels harsh, menacing, or hostile. Thank you for writing such a much-needed and incredibly impactful book, Dr Radha! Know Your Own Power by Dr Radha Modgil is a flawless victory!

Have you read Know Your Own Power? What are your thoughts about this book? Share your opinion in the comment section below!

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Quote #121

"Be completely at ease with certain uncertainty." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #118

"The attainment of peace of mind involves resigning yourself to everyday misfortunes and inconveniences." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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It's Not the End of the World

The title of this article is a cool-sounding English idiom that is used to assure someone that a "problem is not as bad as they think" (Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English Online). This expression is efficacious at executing its task because it 'intelligently' compares one's predicament with the worst possible of all: Doomsday. The fact that this can be found in major dictionaries is a testament to its effectiveness as a lexical item. Nonetheless, something in it has tickled my philosophical mind.

What if it IS the end of the world? Imagine the earth is on the verge of being pummeled by an asteroid vastly larger than the one wiping out non-avian dinosaurs. Or some sort of zombie apocalypse being underway, slowly but surely exterminating our very own species, Homo sapiens. These are highly hypothetical, but scientifically speaking, we are on a trajectory toward the inevitable demise that is patiently awaiting us far, far away temporally. Facing such a potentially petrifying reality, what should we do? I turn to Stoicism for the answer.

The ancient philosophy provides us with a potent tool for achieving a sense of inner peace: amor fati. This Latin expression translates as 'a love of fate', which is self-explanatory. This Stoic practice teaches us to love whatever happens, getting rid of the mental resistance that is only holding us back in life. Sh*t happens (and coprolites happened): this is the reality of life. We need to wholeheartedly embrace our fate, accepting that it is the best that could have happened and harboring no regrets whatsoever. Stoic philosopher Epictetus encapsulates amor fati brilliantly: “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.“ Practicing amor fati makes it possible for you to experience the fullness of happiness and ataraxia.

Ergo, whether it is the end of the world or not the end of the world doesn't matter. Let's just devote our time, energy, and attention to the present moment, making the most of we currently have with love, passion, and gratitude. I would like to end this article with a profoundly mindset-changing quote on death from the doyen of science communication, Richard Dawkins:

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

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Quote #116

"Anything inimical to your mental health is to be blasted instantaneously." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #111

"Oftentimes being insouciant is merely a matter of decision." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Have to

It's 2024! I am beyond grateful to still be alive and kicking at the present moment and able to continue relishing the glory emanated by the dinosaurs, English language, and Jay Chou. Some moment ago, the hardwiring of my brain produced an idea of carefully examining the simple phrase which is this post's title: have to. This two-word expression might look simple, but, I believe, the impact it makes on a human's life can be absolutely profound and far from negligible.

The expression have to denotes obligation. It shows that something is necessary and not doing so would mean something negative ensues. For the most part, obligation is indeed positive; it can establish peace and order, with which humans can thrive. However, I think we sometimes need to rethink this concept of having to do something, simply because perhaps we actually do not have to do it.

An example that springs to mind is marriage. So many people allow themselves to be bound in this romantic relationship such that it seems obligatory for humans to take wedding vows at some point in their lives. But is it? Does everyone have to place themselves in such a commitment? Does getting married ensure one lives an ideal, happy life?

Let's turn to lifestyle. Well-to-do people may cause some to drool over their luxuries and extravagance. But then a question arises: Do people have to be wealthy? Of course, nobody can be genuinely content with their lives if they are impecunious, but Stoicism says that in order to have peace of mind, you just have to be able to afford the basic necessities.

We could contemplate this eviternally. Do I have to reach the position of a director? A president? Do I have to have a child? Children? Do I have to buy a PS5? A Pagani? Do I have to possess a toned physique? A long, pointy nose? Do I have to travel to Japan? Study in the US? Live in a mansion? And the list infinitely goes on and on...

No single human is exactly the same as the other. We come from different backgrounds and have different tastes and preferences. Your have to might be different from my have to. This is not a one-size-fits-all matter. Many people may be surprised that they actually have far fewer have to's than there appear to be. Probably what we really have to do in life is simply become more recalcitrant. ;)

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Quote #109

"Eliminating illusory importance consequently extirpates unnecessary stress." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #108

"Acceptance of imperfection is a prerequisite to perfection." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #106

"It is perfectly fine to be content with being ordinary." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #105

"The art of happiness is to find 'utopian' peace in a 'dystopian' world." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #104

"Not caring for someone not caring for you is caring for yourself." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Colorful Meadow

The horizon is marching towards the wanderer

Swooped over by a smirking wave of doom and gloom

You instantaneously fall down to your knees

Crying your eyes out, deluging the terra firma

The sea of tears engulfs your whole body, there seeming to be no hands to grip and hold onto

This arena can be downright cruel

There is no denying

Look around and take in everything

When the force acts capriciously

Slouch and embrace the fate handed to you

Life is a conglomeration of multitudinous experiences

To be present is to be an emperor

Gaze the firmament and launch into your crafted heaven

Drink in the rainbow spectacle and share the joy with me

Bliss only matters when we feel it

Nonchalantly sauntering in the colorful meadow

I savor every note passing through my ears

The aromatic floral scent

The melodic avian song

I am ready for this tireless journey

The creation of this poem was inspired by Dao Xiang (稻香) by Jay Chou.

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Quote #102

"Life is too short to fret about the uncontrollable." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #95

"Never let anyone dictate your happiness. Define what genuinely makes you happy and rejoice in it." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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The Lurking Dangers of Social Media

We live in a vastly different world than we did only a couple of decades ago. I remember how challenging it was to communicate with distantly located fellow humans when I was a child. Landlines and pay phones were the norm, and sights of smartphones were almost non-existent. The advent of the internet in the 1980s was the start of a new era of communication, and the rest is history. The interconnectedness resulting from the existence of this magnificent invention is absolutely staggering and it still succeeds in making me shake my head untold times. One mind-bending product born of the internet is what I would like to discuss in this article: social media.

Who doesn't have social media accounts these days? I believe virtually everyone having access to the internet has created at least one in order to communicate with people in their circle, such as family or friends. I myself am a social media user, and you can find the links to some of my social media profiles on this very webpage. The reason why most of us utilize social media is a no-brainer. Communicating with others has never been so fast, easy, and fun. In my case, for example, I can interact with figures who would otherwise be unreachable, such as American novelist Rick Chesler, whose writing flair I greatly admire, and British paleozoologist Darren Naish, who was so kind as to acknowledge my linguistic contribution to his book Dinosaurs: How They Lived and Evolved. (Nobody can fathom how ecstatic I was when Steve Brusatte followed me on Twitter!!!)

Despite the many positive things social media can bring about, there are potential dangers that could literally ruin someone's life. One of them is what I would term "the social media illusion of perfect lives". Open your Instagram app and see endless pictures and videos of people enjoying the best moments of their lives. It is as if every shot is enough of a representation of their whole lives. This could definitely lead us to envy those people, desire their "immaculate" ways of living, and pity our own lives. Which is a pity. Of course, no one's life is perfect. Social media users naturally post what is good for their audience to consume; nobody would want to expose their shenanigans or such to the people close to them, let alone the public. Hence, we need to realize and keep reminding ourselves that what we see on social media is just the "tip of the iceberg" – there is an invisible, hidden swath which we may never know.

Social media also poses an unseen threat to the users' lives through what is called "echo chambers". "What are these seemingly harmless things?" you may be asking. According to Macmillan Dictionary, an echo chamber is "a situation in which people only listen to or read others with the same views, and so are not receptive to or aware of different views". Can you now conceive the tremendous harm this could cause? Living in an echo chamber, or a social media bubble, means your mind being constricted as you are fed on the same type of information over and over again. Remember that having an open mind is absolutely critical in life, and what echo chambers do is prevent the necessary input from entering your mind, hampering your development as an individual. So, what can we do to deal with this potential problem? We should not blame algorithms; instead, I would suggest interacting regularly with other people who have different views from ours. We need to digest their perspectives, consider them carefully, and do our best to come to a clear, unbiased judgment.

Social media is a double-edged sword. They can improve our quality of life by leaps and bounds, yet their lurking dangers can nudge us into a harrowing abyss. Let's use them smartly.

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Quote #92

"When you receive a blessing, be grateful for it, but be instantly ready to let it go." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #89

"Having an imaginary friend is not a problem as long as it doesn't propel you to harming your real friends." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Q&A (Q-Man and Answers) #4: How can we embrace continual sadness?

  

#4

Question from Azer: How can we embrace continual sadness?

Q-Man's answer:

Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, nor a psychiatrist. Should one experience such a feeling and need help, the best person to seek out is certainly such a mental health professional, which I am not. However, I will try my best to, hopefully, help the asker through my knowledge and experience.

I believe in order to get rid of a problem, the root of it has to be pinpointed and then obliterated, by any means necessary. Everything in this world has a cause, so it's only a matter of time and effort before it can be dealt with. What caused the continual sadness? What underlies it? It all comes down to the answer to these questions.

The best thing that I can offer (and one having the issue could try) is something I discovered pretty recently: Stoicism. This ancient school of philosophy will rectify the paths that many people's minds have wrongly taken. The depression may be merely due to our mind naughtily and stubbornly seeing life in a deceptively mistaken light. As Stoic philosopher Seneca said, "[W]e suffer more often in imagination than in reality." Is your sadness "justifiable" or has your mind banefully exaggerated the severity of the situation? Probably the solution to this mental health problem is simply plucking up the courage to change your mind.

Q&A (Q-Man and Answers) is a section where I answer questions from my readers. Feel free to send me any question through one of my social media channels. Note that you may choose to remain anonymous.

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How Happy Are You?

Please don't mock my attempt at creating an eye-catching title, but I think it's the best I could come up with and it certainly serves the primary purpose of this article. Now we are back in the theme of happiness, something that humanity seems to never get tired of seeking and discussing – and it's for an obviously good reason.

We humans naturally gravitate towards happiness and the feeling that we are on top of the world is just indescribable, in positive ways. Think about beatific smiles, the state of being free of worries, painlessness, the absence of threats, and the list goes on and on. I strongly believe that Heaven, as described by many or most religions, is a "physical" manifestation of this quality. Every once in a while I can't help but muse on my own level of happiness. How happy am I? On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being not happy at all and 10 perfectly happy, where would I put myself? I think it is healthy to ask ourselves this kind of question as a form of self-assessment of our own contentment with our own life. So where do I stand on this simply made happiness scale?

If I had to rate my own happiness by this means, I would put myself somewhere between 8 and 8.5. Pretty good score, right? I may not be a billionaire like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, but I do have all my bare necessities, which Stoicism considers to be a requisite for happiness. I have a home, I can eat three times a day, I can go to the doctor if falling sick, and so on and so forth. And that's actually enough for me not to fall into the category of non-happy people – and this should work for other people too.

In addition to the fulfilled basic needs, there are things that added to my happiness score. I possess enough savings for an emergency fund, giving me a sense of security for when the universe is being mischievous and not on my side. I also have a job that really fits one of my greatest passions: English. What's more, my dream of having my own library has been achieved! (Due to limited space, I cannot buy another bookcase and I have switched to buying Kindle books. Here's hoping for a bigger home!) All these and others of the same kind certainly cranked up my happiness level and I am truly grateful for these life blessings, which not all people have the privilege of having.

It is true that life can be tough and things often don't go the way you want. This can cause one's level happiness to drop unnecessarily. Why? One simply must realize that most events in life happen outside their control. Stressing about these things will only lead to unhappiness or even depression. Many people probably, more often than not, sweat over things that they do not have influence over, which is a good recipe for misery. We ought to focus on what we can control and rightly ignore what we can't. This Stoic notion is also what keeps me sane in my day-to-day life and contributes to how happy I am. (Check out Stoicism for Inner Peace by Einzelgänger for a wonderful resource for learning about Stoicism.)

You may be wondering, "How about the remaining 1–1.5? What would make you 'fully' happy?" I think it is a tough nut to crack. Is there anybody who has achieved the state of absolute happiness? I may well have to shake hands with my idol Jay Chou and spend an hour talking about music and life with him in order to to attain such bliss. In the meantime, I will just keep my expectations low and make the most of my life every second. How about you? How happy are you? 😊

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