"Sad" Truths about Life

First of all, I don't have the intention to send any chills down your spine or take you to the deepest depths of sorrow. Instead I hope this post can bring readers to a realization of and/or emphasis on the veritable truths of life.

Let's begin by thinking of our fellow humans who were born in the 1840s, a period of time when British biologist & paleontologist Sir Richard Owen established a group of magnificent animals by bestowing the immortally impressive name Dinosauria, which means "fearfully great lizard", to those then-thought-of-as-extinct creatures. To the best of my knowledge, no-one arriving in this world during that decade is still alive today. I repeat: no-one.

What does this mean? Well, this phenomenon seems hardly any surprising but contemplating it could be fruitful in building a good and wise outlook on life. After experiencing a brief gust of life, they all crossed the threshold and stepped into the death realm, something that is inescapable to all beings, including us humans. The average human lifespan sits roughly in the region of 60–70 years. If you think about it, our time on Earth is mind-blowingly infinitesimal compared to the age of the planet itself: 4.6 billion years – let alone the unfathomably vast amount of time that has passed since the universe began: 14 billion years. I was born in 1990 and I'll turn 28 this coming April. Therefore, I have more or less 40 more years on this evolution-friendly planet, before I join the majority. The total moment that I possess to be in the presence of my beloved family & friends, gaze at my girlfriend's soothing smile, be stuck in awe at gorgeous views of foreign countries, tuck into luscious Quiznos subs and pizzas, peruse (in both senses) best-quality dinosaur and English books, indulge myself in Jay Chou's sublimely composed, timeless music, and so on and so forth, is only 40 Earth revolutions around the sun left. And then my body will unite with nature as it decomposes either on the ground or, if cremated, in the sea, by means of detritus feeders – if no-one doesn't want to balm or, in some way, preserve it. In any case, nobody will be able to see any parts of my physical and mental selves "move". What will remain is my legacy, which is made up of all the things I have printed on the globe (however good or bad they are): my words, speeches, acts, behavior, dinosaur painting, blog articles (like this one) and such. That's all. Klinsman is gone. If I am lucky.

If not, I will kick the bucket even sooner. Humans are vulnerable beings; we are susceptible to illnesses, diseases, and pestilences (Just a few days ago the mother of my elementary school friend passed away at the age of 55, presumably because of cancer. To name another few, there are diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, malaria, and Ebola.) Consequently, some people are so unfortunate that their lives have to end earlier than expected, perhaps abruptly. And then there exist those who have been suffering from some affliction since birth (or even before). Sadly, some may not be able to survive long after they leave the status of a newborn. I was organizing my files just now, and in the midst of it I went astray and came across this photo:

Santos and me

Santos was a child cancer survivor. A few years ago I read about his needing blood transfusion via Blood For Life Indonesia's Twitter account, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to donate a small amount of mine (type AB) to him. Nevertheless, he eventually had to succumb to his leukemia and breathed his last.

I am writing this article in a restaurant in South Jakarta, and I am going home as soon as I finish it. Is there a guarantee that I will arrive home safely? (FYI, it is located nearby) No. Life is highly unpredictable. We humans are so so terrible at predicting the future, as American paleontologist Kenneth Lacovara put it in his book Why Dinosaurs Matter. I might have an accident on the way home while riding a Grab motorcycle. Some other driver might exhibit their inanity by showing how speeding is really cool (to their imbecilic mind). It is also not difficult to come up with other death-invoking things, one type of which is natural disasters, which can happen all of a sudden. (However, note that actually "sad" things are not necessarily related to death; lifetime (and short-term) suffering can also be immensely depressing – think of those who need to undergo dialysis all their lives, for example.) It might be unimaginably distressing to know you are going to die soon. Nonetheless, American neuroscientist Sam Harris makes a point worth pondering in his Big Think video on death that, to add another "sad" thing, if we outlive our loved ones, it means we will be left alone, without them by our side.

It is always now, as Sam said in this eye-opening video. The powerful message is that we need to live our lives to the fullest in the present moment. People often forget that now is the best time to be happy; the past has always passed and the future will never come. Do not wait and get rid of all the "if"s and "when"s to really enjoy and appreciate the present. If you love someone, express it. If you have a keen interest in a field of study, learn about it. Be crazy and never let yourself be bound by constraints that are slowly gnawing on your potential happiness, which you do deserve. Do what you want while you are alive and while you can; otherwise, you will regret and feel the real sadness of life. Continue reading

Nervousness

This is a feeling that I strongly believe every single human, extant and extinct, has had.

Think about your last exam (IELTS maybe? Having to express your ideas in spoken English eloquently with a complete native-speaker stranger). Or the moment you had to show off your musical skills (by means of strumming your beloved accoustic guitar perhaps?) in front of 'millions' of eyes directed towards you and no-one else. And how about the last interview you went on for that highly desired job in a super tantalizing company?

I'm sure you just flashbacked to some point in time when your security was sort of 'threatened' and this annoying quality overwhelmed you in such a way that you didn't perform satisfactorily. Well, you are not alone; we've been in the same boat.

A few years ago, I decided to compete in a Chinese singing contest organized by my university. Of course, Jay Chou was the main motivation for that (seriously, I'm still wondering why such a prodigy could possibly exist in the world), and the awe-inspiring life-saving 2008 song 稻香 (Rice Fragrance) was what I selected to be the centerpiece of my show.

The time had come. I got on the stage in one of the classrooms to take an opportunity to do my portion of evanJaylization. There were 3 judges (in I'm not mistaken) in front of me and behind them were sitting around 40 people ready to watch me sing the heavenly king's song. However, things didn't go as I wanted them to. My voice was weak and I didn't produce sounds as impressively as I can in the relatively small bathroom of my simply designed house. In short, it was a flop.

Now let's turn our attention to the second last sentence of the previous paragraph. I CAN sing the song well while taking a shower! (although you really can't compared it to those flawless jaw-dropping performances of Jay) I am ABLE to do that. The problem that led to my disappointing performance was my sheer tense (not to mention the fact that the KTV version of the song didn't meet my expectations), and it markedly affected my action in a negative way, resulting in me not qualifying for the next round. Isn't it a pity that one cannot display their maximum ability only due to some irritating psychological state? How do we overcome it?

First things first, we need to really understand what being nervous exactly is. It is an occurrence when we are afraid that what we are doing (or will do) will turn out badly. Ironically, this particular feeling encourages that nightmarish outcome. Therefore, what we need to do is to change our mindset; in other words, we need to keep our attention on giving the best to the audience or whoever else/whatever. I realize it would appear to be easier said than done, but there it is.

It is vital to do anything not in such a degrading condition. Possessing a considerable (but not excessive) degree of confidence, which is indispensable for success, certainly brings out the best in you.

Continue reading

Death

The younger brother of my late grandfather has just passed away. The decease of the relative of mine propelled me into a state of questioning one of man's ever discussed subjects: death.

Birth and death are two phenomena that (must) take place in a person's life. People were born into this world via their mothers' – or in some cases, others' – wombs and will die of something (an accident, disease, shock, a combination of several damaging things, or some other cause) someday down the road. It seems that the human race still hasn't found a way to stop the latter from happening.

Death actually is a natural thing. If you think about it, all creatures, including dinosaurs, die. Species continually disappear and give rise to others, letting them fill the niches left behind.

However, Homo sapiens is a limit-breaking species. It is so astonishing that they have always achieved things that they always wanted to (think of the telephone, airplane, Internet, and the like). So, it won't be stupefying that some time to come humans can prevent the so-called unstoppable event.

The next question would be "What happens after death?" The quick answer is we don't know. Religions provide varied answers to this mystery, at least some of them referring to the concept of Heaven and Hell. But frankly speaking, we just don't have the faintest idea about what really happens after the "frightening" occurrence.

How long is a human's life? I guess it is, on average, in the region of 70 years or so. I think, with such a limited lifespan and our incapabilities to know when we will die, it would be wise to consider death as a humbling reminder of our "mere" existence and a motivation to make the most of our lives.

Continue reading

Endurance

I decided to write this article after a flash of inspiration that came across my mind yesterday. I am currently searching for a "good" distributor of imported books – that is, one that can offer low prices/discounts; I would like to "resurrect" my "now-extinct", precious dinosaur and English books, which have brought me to this point of my life.

As you are a close friend of mine, chances are you already knew that my little house got burned by a big fire last year. The much sadder thing is this disastrous event decimated almost ALL my imported books, which were worth approximately 8,000,000 rupiahs (around US$605). And, "uniquely", this took place after my second trip to Vietnam, which was very exciting.

Sad? Of course, I was. But this is life. We cannot really predict what is going to happen, and both good and bad will surely come along in our lives. I didn't let myself get carried away and made up my mind to be a tough cookie instead.

I reckon endurance is a quality that everyone must possess in this world. We need to foster an accepting attitude towards reality and stay strong. Life is not always full of sweet and sparkling things; there are a lot of rocks and spines ready to torture you down the road. These can be in the form of getting dumped by your boyfriend/girlfriend, losing your dream job, being lied to by your best friend, experiencing bank fraud, and so on. Many people have decided to end their lives, but it is not a very wise decision. We have the opportunity to live (although only once) and there is always more we can do. :)

Continue reading

Use It Up!

I've just visited Saigon, Vietnam for the third time and the vacation trip was totally amazing. I met lots of friends (old and new) and made newer ones, including members of Talking With The Tourist – as Cong Vien 23 Thang 9 (23/9 Park) is such a strong magnet for this Chinese Indonesian that I kept going there over and over.

I won't write every experience I had there but, instead, I am going to share a little lesson that I learned from this small part of my life.

February 24, 2016 was a day that I had been waiting for. It had been around two years since I realized I loved this huge city. I woke up around 6:30 in the morning and got prepared. Next, my father took me to the bus station from which we set out to Soekarno-Hatta Airport. I didn't book a direct flight ticket; I had to stop over at Singapore and then continued my journey to Saigon. Everything went well at the airport and I departed from Jakarta to Singapore at about 9:20 a.m. with Tigerair – it is an airline that I trust; I have always flown to Saigon with Tigerair and I have always been satisfied by its service.

I landed in Singapore at probably 11:30 a.m. Jakarta time or 12:30 p.m. Singapore time. Afterwards, I had lunch and, after doing some research on must-visit attractions in Changi Airport, I decided to take some hopefully eye-catching photos. My next flight was at 4:05 p.m. Singapore time and I thought I still had abundant time. What would happen next?

Changi Airport has so many beautiful spots, such as Sunflower Garden and Butterfly Garden, that I wanted to eternalize many moments there. At approximately 3 p.m., after collecting quite a lot of photos, I went to the information desk to ask for information about which gate my flight was set to leave Singapore from. The information lady told me the gate number and warned me to hurry. In response to that, I galloped to the destination gate despite a bit of doubt in my head. What is happening? As soon as I got to the gate, I was welcomed with confusion of the person I was trying to talk with. Then, another man turned up and told me that I had missed my flight – I saw a Tigerair airplane moving away, which was very likely my flight.

I was shocked to the marrow! I'd thought it would be a phenomenal trip but THIS "calamity" happened! As a result of this, I had to book another ticket – I spent more or less 75 USD on the next day's flight. I believe you know that the blunder was caused by me mistaking my cellphone clock time (Jakarta time) for a Singapore time.

So, what am I trying to say through this article? In spite of the horrible stuff, I decided to make this trip fantastic; I didn't want to miss out on great moments I should have in Saigon. I set a positive attitude towards everything and the trip turned out to be WOW!

Make the most of everything. Bad things happen but it is not the end of the world. Keep smiling and "use it up"! :) Continue reading

Natural Selection in the Human World

The longer I live, the more I discover the truth of the theory of evolution by means of natural selection, proposed by Charles Darwin, an English scientist whose 207th birthday was just celebrated – on 12 February.

Charles Darwin statue at a museum

How? You might be asking. It is simple: by looking at our own society.

Let's play a bit of a game. Ask yourself what you do for a living? Got your answer? Now ask why you do that. Got your answer again? Ask again: why? Do the same procedure over and over, and if you are "normal" – by "normal", I mean you are not a psychopath or that sort of thing – you will end up giving an answer that sounds more or less like "so that (modern) humans a.k.a. Homo sapiens will always survive." Yes, the keyword is "survive".

You might be a computer programmer, trying to make the most helpful applications for the world (including for yourself). Hopefully, humankind  (including you, who gets a salary) will benefit in some way because of your work or products. You might be a doctor, trying to heal sick people or patients in hope that the existence of the human race will go on and on. Whatever you are, if you think about it carefully and thoroughly, this should be your ultimate purpose.

Now we look at the "agonizing" part. How many people are poor? How many people are on the street, begging for money and food? How many people are suffering? How many people have died before their life expectancy? This is probably the result of their laziness, which is a quality that natural selection doesn't favor. Their unwillingness to develop or improve themselves in some way is what caused them to be so. However, many of the pitiful are in their states not because of their "faults", but by misfortune: an example would be children with AIDS, who inherited the disease from their mothers. Thankfully, some people are so kind that they help these "unfortunate" people to live as long as they can, by being volunteers or that kind of thing (again, for the continuity of our species). It is a shame that racism still exists in the world: black, yellow, brown and white people are different variations but they are the same species, aren't they?

On the other hand, we see "successful" people, those who seem to be happy and are likely to live longer than others. They have worked hard, increasing their skill to contribute to the world, and as a result, they reap what they have sown. They are also more likely to have more offspring that will be great representatives of the next generation of humans. And, on a larger scale, we all should learn from these people and foster the good attitudes that they have in order to ensure our future existence as one species.

Continue reading

Discounts

Imagine you are in a mall. You go to a department store. You see many kinds of things. Some of them are interesting but the others not. But, what is "really interesting"  is that there are eye-catching signs. "25%", "30% discount", "up to 80% off", and many others; those are what the signs show.

Discounts are a way to attract people to buy products or services. You can save some money and spend it on anything else. (That's what I know. Please forgive me, I'm not marketeer.)

Item: Watch
Normal Price: $50.50
Discount: 30%
Price After Discount: $35.35

Yeah, cool! You can save $15.15. You can buy two copies of Raptor Red, one for you and one for your mischievous brother. Is it good? Yes, it is. Is it always good? The abrupt answer is NO.

Why? The answer is related to my article Need and Greed. The mistake that people sometimes (or often?) make is that they are tempted to buy discounted things because there are discounts. If you think about it, it makes no sense. The fact that there are discounts is not a good reason why you buy things. We buy things
because we think those will be useful for us, because we will use them for our good, because they will affect our lives well, because they will bring about good effects to us.

If you buy a thing with an original price of $10 at a reduced price of $8 without the right reason, actually you do not save $2; you throw away $8 instead.

Laura: "Brian, look at the T-shirt!"
Brian: "Oh, what's wrong with it?"
Laura: "It's so cheap! There's a 75% discount! It's just $10 now! Get it!"
Brian: "Oh. Thanks, Laura, but I have plenty of clothes at home. :) Laura, you look thirsty. Why not drink an orange juice? I'll treat you. :)"
Laura: "Ah.. Sure.. Thanks, Brian. :)" Continue reading

Comparisons Are Odious

Aren't they? Yeah, at times they are. And I went through this kind of situation a few days ago.

I wanted to get a copy of Practical English Usage by Michael Swan as it is a great book on English, based on Amazon.com customer reviews and my friend's recommendation. It was sold by my company at 300,000 rupiahs (about 24.75 USD) and, therefore, plain cheap! I decided to buy it, so I told the PIC about my "craving".

While she was processing the purchase, one of my friends told me that there was a bookstore where he usually bought books, and, if I'm not mistaken, he told me that the book, if available, was sold at a cheaper price. Soon I tried to contact the bookstore officer, but I didn't cancel the purchase.

While waiting for the officer to give me the information, I did the transaction and got the book! But I was not satisfied. I wanted to know the price of the book from the bookstore. In short, the officer said that the book price was 246.000 rupiahs (about 20.30 USD)! I felt regretful that I had spent more money on it.

However, after thinking carefully, I realized that I had made the best decision! I needed the book and buying it right away was the right thing. Furthermore, If I had canceled the purchase, I would've been considered not responsible.

In my view, this is one of the keys to being happy in life: Don't compare things. :) Continue reading

Time

What is time?

We humans are inextricably bound with time (in fact, dinosaurs are too). We move, breathe, think, eat, drink, work, play, and sleep, as well as poo, as time goes by. All of our activities depend on this four-letter thing.

Time is universal. It is not racist—all humans get the same portion: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. They cannot pause it. They cannot stop it. They cannot return to the past. They cannot go to the future. (except for Doraemon)

You can do good or bad with time. It really depends on your decision, on how you want to use it. For example, after reading this, you can go to a red light district in your country and spend one hour having sex with a prostitute, or you can spend the same amount of time to visit your parents, kin, or friends who you have hurt and apologize to them sincerely. Therefore, time is so powerful. In a sense, it can change the world, but it needs you to do it.

We often feel as if time passed slowly at times, but sometimes it passed really fast. Why do we have such a feeling? For my money, if we enjoy doing something, we feel it passes fast, and in contrast, if we hate doing something, we feel it passes slowly. Which one do you choose, the former or the latter? :)

Time is a passive thing. It won't say, "Come on! Use me! Use me!" It will just keep silent. It won't approach us. We are the ones who have to take the initiative.

Now, let's dissect a day:

---

1 day = 24 hours

Activities:
Sleeping: 8 hours
Working: 8 hours
Eating: 15 minutes (breakfast) +  15 minutes (lunch) + 15 minutes (dinner) = 45 minutes = 1.25 hours
Taking showers, brushing teeth, etc. : 15 minutes (morning) + 15 minutes (afternoon) = 30 minutes = 0.5 hours
Doing housework, etc. : 1 hour
Leisure : 3 hours

Let's calculate the amount of time left:
24 - 8 - 8 - 1.25 - 0.5 - 1 - 3 = 2.25 hours

---

For my money, this illustration more or less depicts a well-organized day for a human being. And, as you can see, there is still 2.25 hours to use. We could spend it reading, helping our neighbors, blogging, and/or doing anything that is worthwhile. If we do this consistently, we will be productive and, as a result, we will be a contented man. I believe that successful men are those who make the most of their time while their contemporaries procrastinate and spend their time doing things ineffectively.

So what will you do after this? :) Tick. Tick. Tick. Continue reading

Oh-portunity!

Hello, dear friends! I wanna share my experience with this article. :)

As a big fan of Jay Chou, I'd like to get his new album, Exclamation Mark. One day, a friend told me about a competition held by Fullstar. Oh! The winners would get it! I decided to join in that competition and thank God I became one of the three winners! ^__^

Me and Exclamation Mark

As always, his songs are lovely! ;)

After some time, I found another competition on Facebook—held by Periplus. Oh! The winners would get a voucher worth a sum of money to buy books! As a book lover, I joined that competition and thank goodness I became the winner! :D

I used the voucher to buy 3-D Explorer: Dinosaurs: A Journey through the Prehistoric World—I am a dinosaur lover :)—and Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus—I am an Englisholic :D.

Me and 3-D Explorer: Dinosaurs: A Journey through the Prehistoric World

Me and Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus

Opportunity. Something that usually comes to our life—I believe you have ever got it, haven't you? Something that will bring something good to our life. Probably, we often miss it because we are lazy or not confident. Maybe, we usually miss it because we are afraid that people will laugh at us. Perhaps, we miss it because we assume that we will lose. Be positive! "Leave" everyone! You are you! You are the decision maker! Don't let your life be driven by people around you. It is you who is the center of your life. Don't you see that "mouth-watering food"? Don't you see those "shining jewels"? Don't you see YOUR SMILE behind that opportunity?

Be not late. It doesn't await you. The matter is whether we want to take it or not.

I have proven that taking an opportunity is very pleasant. :) (believe me :)) And. . . It is your turn. :)

Oh! Oh! Oh-portunity! :D

(It sounds like the chorus of Chao Pao Nü Shen, the last song in Exclamation Mark) :p Continue reading