Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Thursday, March 23, 2023

Endless Love

With the rustling of oak leaves
I drifted into complete silence
The existent void
Is inexorably eating away at my soul
You are and are not at the same time

The murder of crows perching on the pole wire
Are endlessly, sickeningly cawing
Casting me into a dimension of excruciating agony
Even a single shadow of yours
I cannot taste

Your beauty is unsurpassed
Even though you have vanished altogether
I cannot take my eyes off you
Untold memories we have created together
I will preserve in perpetuity

Listening to Jay Chou's Nocturne
Is the sole consolation
Burying my last love letter
Beside your interred immaculate body
Let this romantic perfection be frozen till the end of time

The creation of this poem was inspired by Nocturne (ε€œζ›²) by Jay Chou.
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Monday, August 15, 2022

Reflection

Your muffled voice is haunting my existence
The plaid drapes have become much less intense
Do I still have the license?
I guess I need to stop the pretense

The incandescent sea is glaring at our figure
The feeling has become unbearable
All the sweetness expressed in nature
Has left completely untraceable

Silence is sometimes the answer
My hands are incapable of working magic
The consequential shudder
Has reflected the inevitably tragic

I simply need no excuse
For it is not square one
Let me sip the pomegranate juice
For I have unarguably won

The creation of this poem was inspired by Reflection (ε€’ε½±) by Jay Chou.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Monday, April 19, 2021

What Does It Mean To Be a Teacher?

This is a vitally important question for some of the billions of earthlings to answer – and that fraction includes me, a speck of cosmic dust which happens to be inhabiting the most populated island of the Indonesian archipelago. I have worked as a teacher of English, my most loved language of all, for over seven years and this has inevitably made me ponder and reflect, from time to time, on the role that I have been trusted to take. Teaching is my bread and butter, but, to me, it goes far beyond that. I wholeheartedly believe that being a teacher means much, much more than earning money to get by in life. The future of the planet very much depends on our collective action and in order to ensure the continuity of its existence and the advancement & protection of its welfare, what we sorely need are who I would call real teachers: those who put their best effort into enlightening the minds of the next generation for the common good – for all of us. Seen from this point of view, teachers are really saviors of the world. So, what does it mean to be a teacher? What things does it involve? I reckon the following elements are essential to making a real teacher:

1. Educator

Needless to say, this quality is indispensable to being a teacher. Teachers are meant to educate, and this requires them to possess a sufficient amount of knowledge or skill to diffuse to or instill in the students. A teacher who lacks expertise in their respective area simply will not make a significant impact, if any, on their students' lives. It is important to underline that teachers must strive to combat false information and that they also need to be highly creative to make sure that their delivery of a particular subject is effectively accomplished.

2. Motivator

Let's face it: Students can feel down and discouraged – well, they are human beings, aren't they? They may be having a serious family problem, or instead they may have been stuck on a math problem for long. Such situations can hurl them to the depths of despair; and this is when the subrole of a motivator comes into play. A teacher should be able to sympathize with and motivate their students to achieve their aims, making them rise and directing them to meeting their challenges. What is worse than seeing someone's potential left unfulfilled?

3. Example Setter

Teachers have to be role models for their students. Why so? Well, it is simply because students tend to imitate their teachers, just as kids do their parents. If a teacher tells their students to be punctual, but they themselves always arrive late, would that convince the students to be disciplined? If you are an English teacher, but you do not care about, say, capitalization when writing country or city names, don't you think your students would be slovenly too? Setting an example is a very powerful way to drive students to success in learning.

4. Inspirator

Setting an example is a must, but I think a teacher needs to go the extra mile. Be an inspiration to your students! There are endless things a teacher can do to launch their students to heights of excitement on their learning journeys. For example, if you are a music teacher, you might want to record videos of you showing off your brilliant skill at playing a musical instrument and posting them to social media so that the general public can enjoy it. This will get your students psyched about the performance and, hopefully, wanting to do such inspirational things themselves.

5. Friend

It is probably true that there is often an invisible but discernible gap between teachers and students. It is as if students are destined to respect their teachers from afar and their teachers are "untouchable", exclusively sitting on their "thrones". Although I agree that there should be limits to how teachers and students interact, developing a rapport with students is really important as it can enhance their learning experiences by leaps and bounds. As mentioned before, students are humans, so being able to, for example, share with their teachers would be greatly beneficial.

6. Learner

Finally, a teacher, just like everybody else, is essentially a learner. This certainly applies to the knowledge or skill in their respective field – for instance, an English teacher must keep abreast of the latest development in the language (new vocabulary, etc.). However, it can be extended into such areas as understanding the psychology of the students and new technology that can be utilized to make learning more fun and effective. Teachers need to always update their armaments to ensure that their students experience learning in the best way possible.

Thank you so much for reading up to this point! I hope this article is useful for fellow teachers and those considering entering the profession. Feel free to leave any comments below! πŸ˜Š

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Sunday, March 28, 2021

The Last Rhyme

Tormented, screeching at my nadir
My soul has crumbled now that you are not here
Where is your genuine warmth, dear?
Nor your velvet voice I can hear

This emptiness strangles my very life, helplessly suffocating
This loneliness rends it into millions, mindlessly floating
Can I still impart unalloyed happiness?
Or would it be transmuted into unutterable sadness?

Please gaze at me one more time
And hearken to this last rhyme
If you think it is merely a dime
Just make that parting chime

The creation of this poem was inspired by Kai Bu Liao Kou (開不了口) by Jay Chou.
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Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Return to Your Embrace

The morning shower is blurring your seraphic figure
Yet I can see you wholly, crystal-clear
Our first encounter on the sidewalk
Was an inexhaustible spring of fond memories

I savored every utterance from your cherry-red lips
I delightfully took in every bit of your emanating beauty
This exclusive felicity
Was all I could ever ask for

Out of the blue, a ferocious storm was brewing
It then pummeled our romantic chain, splintering it into millions
My incredulity engulfed the whole of me
The elation had to be shattered in an absolute instant

It has been forever
But let me be completely honest
I cannot fathom the word "love" without you in my mind
Can I return to your embrace?
Together with you picking up the abandoned crochet and carrying on our lovework?

The creation of this poem was inspired by Hui Dao Guo Qu - The One Concert (ε›žεˆ°ιŽεŽ» - The One ζΌ”ε”±ζœƒ) by Jay Chou. To watch the original MV, click here.
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Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Stoicism

Philosophy is not much of a big appeal in my life. As most of you are probably aware, aside from the English language, it is the field of paleontology (and particularly dinosaurology) which entrances me the most and takes up a great portion of my life – even though gaining knowledge about this subject has inevitably philosophical consequences, as evident in the grand dinosaurian volume Why Dinosaurs Matter by Kenneth Lacovara. However, recently (and possibly even before that) I discovered an amazing TED-Ed video explaining a school of philosophy called Stoicism, and I honestly was awestruck by the brilliance of this framework of thinking.


My dearest online dictionary, Macmillan Dictionary defines "stoic" as "someone who accepts things without complaining". While this covers part of the philosophy, Stoicism is actually more than that. As you can learn from the animated video, the stoics hold four (4) cardinal values: wisdom, temperance, justice, and courage. Nevertheless, it is true that the most striking point, at least to me, is the practice of endurance and resilience, which is attained by a genuine understanding of how the universe works. The narrative goes like this: We live in a super complex world system and, regardless of our wishes and hopes, there are events that go as we want and those that run off the course, which naturally would give people displeasure and disappointment. While we do have control over some events in our life, there are certainly others that happen entirely independently of our own actions. And it is these controllable events that have to be our focus and deserve our attention – otherwise, our life will be overwhelmed by negativity, shattering emotions, and toxic experiences that drag us backwards and even fell us into abysmal gloom. This tenet is in alignment with what the philosopher Epictetus wrote: "We suffer not from the events in our lives, but from our judgement about them!"

One excellent example comes from another TED video by Massimo Pigliucci, the same philosopher who gives us the lesson in the short, but insightful animation. Pigliucci takes an instance from a major element in most humans' lives: romantic relationships. The success of a relationship is determined by both the parties involved in it. A man can love his girlfriend in the most sincere and kindest way, but no matter how magnificent his love is, he literally cannot make her respond in kind since her very reactions are not under his control – they are up to his girlfriend. Stoicism teaches us to focus on being the best version of ourselves, i.e. the most lovable person for our partner, because it is what is actually under our control.

This principle can extend to and be applied in many aspects of our life: participation in competitions, job promotions (also mentioned in the TEDx video), raising children, and so on and so forth. Stoicism is a very relatable philosophy indeed and I love the fact that being a stoic means to perceive the world as it is, without sugarcoating the reality or distorting views of what really happens.

So, what do you think of Stoicism? Are you a stoic? Leave your comments below!
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Saturday, May 2, 2020

Cotton Candy

I will never forget that particular summer day
Although the sun is baking hot, I can't help letting out a little smile at your chubby face
Your altogether unexpected greeting
Is the only thing that makes my day

A date with you on any date feels indescribably special
Each and every one is a pleasurable phantasmagoria
Holding each other's hands, we playfully enjoy slurping sticks of colorful cotton candy on a bright Sunday
To this day, the sweetness of your lips is still lingering on mine

Months flutter quickly, unnoticed
Our love has grown stronger than ever
I will never let anyone cure this addiction
For you are my ultimate medicine

I never thought the definition of "happiness" is so simple
As long as you are by my side
How could I be inflicted by soul-gnawing desolation?
I hope this romantic voyage will reach no end

The creation of this poem was inspired by Tian Tian De (η”œη”œηš„) by Jay Chou.
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Sunday, January 5, 2020

Excruciation

Teardrops fall incessantly
The overcast sky shows no sign of a bright day
My past was completely bleak, hauling you into sorrow
Splintering hearts
I never expected this to transpire

Where is the so-called true love which people say?
Can't you forgive me this time?
Your impeccable visage
Can I put my lips there?
Don't you know how feeble I am without your existence?

Never have I intended to crush your heart
But I cannot deny reality
Those dazzlingly beautiful memories
Will they remain only in my mind?
I will leave if that is what you ultimately want

The creation of this poem was inspired by Ge Qian (ζ“±ζ·Ί) by Jay Chou.
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Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Your Smile

The cluttered streets of Jakarta
Would instantly give dizziness to anyone
A snap of your smile
Is always the focal point of my attention
Diverting the insanity I would otherwise experience

I share my world with you
Going on a fantastic ride every day
My life is brimming with bliss
I can see eternal love from your beautiful gaze
Your tenderness is what I need every second

Am I utterly crazy myself?
I have fallen into an abyss of romance
Your prodigious beauty has trapped me
I will reside in your realm forevermore
And I love it

The creation of this poem was inspired by Ta De Jie Mao (ε₯Ήηš„睫毛) by Jay Chou.
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Saturday, January 26, 2019

It's You

A silky, smiling visage brightly shines a pathway
I walk it without any bits of worry
Who is that?
It's you, it's you

An angelic voice reverberates throughout my soul
Peace and love are the only norms
Who is that?
It's you, it's you

Your sweetness is my greatest source of happiness
Why are you so perfectly cute?
My whole life is devoted to being mesmerized by your beauty
I cannot resist this addictive force

It's you, it's you

Your magical affection is inexhaustible
I deeply admire this priceless gift
Chanting your name is what I will always do
Only then can I define bliss

It's you, it's you

My missing grand life puzzle piece
Who makes my exaggerations understatements
It's you

The creation of this poem was inspired by Shou Yu (手θͺž) by Jay Chou.

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Saturday, January 5, 2019

Summer Breezes

The maple leaves across the road
Vaguely resemble your pale fingers
Memories made on the long-haul train journey
Pop up from the diary we wrote together on the park bench
Thinking of you
Always makes my smiles bloom
The warmth of your hug is indelible
Perpetually calming me down when I am nervous

The end of the voyage has now gone by
What I can see now is your shadowy figure
You are holding someone's hands
But they are not mine
Why am I still smiling?

The summer breezes at our city beach
Remind me of all the bliss you've given me
The aroma of your body
Drowns out the smell of the sea
I can still strongly feel your presence
The blistering sunlight
Your sandy cute dimples
I wish I could freeze all those moments and replay my role in the clips whenever I wanted to

Opening my eyes, I can still see my hopes and dreams
Although your beautiful name is not engraved on them
You don't need to mind me
But I want you to know
If you turn back, you'll surely see me
Because my love for you will never perish

The creation of this poem was inspired by Bai Se Feng Che (η™½θ‰²ι’¨θ»Š) by Jay Chou.

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Monday, February 26, 2018

The Poignant Tale of a Single Woman

I've had the urge to write an article on this topic for quite long, yet my conversation with a former student yesterday strongly and ultimately galvanized me to really make this happen.


Her name is, say, Rose (her real name is kept clandestine for privacy reasons). We were chatting via a very popular app which sounds like "What's up?" and after a while our discussion topic shifted to that which the chemicals in your brain would make an impression of when you hear Valentine's Day or Twilight.

However, instead of gentle caressing, warm hugs, or affectionate kisses, she told me a sort of appalling reality she had had to face. This is what she said in a gloomy tone (hope it won't make you cringe):

"We live in a world that is really evil to women. I am frustrated with the questions "When are you getting married?", "When will you follow (put a person's name here)?", etc. And when I didn't say anything, they wanted to introduce me to a guy.. It's like wtf?? Really exhausted."

I was joking; if you have a puckered face now, you are forgiven. Rose is actually single in the sense that she has a boyfriend but not married yet, but there are many people (men included) out there who are single in the more commonly referred-to sense – not possessing a partner – and are constantly, at any time, complaining for receiving such irksome treatment. This unfortunate social phenomenon is, I believe, alarmingly ubiquitous. On social media, it is not hard to find posts and comments containing related mockery (comedy Facebook pages Sarcasm and Be Like Bro are perfect exemplars of those making fun of single people in the latter sense).

The matter regarding one's relationship or marital status is truly, and in essence, none of others', even their parents', business. Sadly and depressingly, there is this widely held misconception that it is all right for other people to meddle. I kind of can symphatize with those people who want to cradle a grandchild as soon as possible, yet they must keep in mind that whether or not to have children is fully the decision of the would-be biological mother and father themselves. People hold the very right to choose when they will get married etc., and they should be free of such "terrorizing" words as what Rose got.

Getting married is not a race, as I said to Rose. Would parents want their child to choose the wrong person as their partner for the sake of face-saving or getting second-generation offspring in the shortest time possible? If they think so, I couldn't imagine how egotistical and mean they are, considering that they regard those things (especially the first one, which I think is nonsense) as more important than their child's genuine happiness.

It is to be remembered that there are a number of reasons why people are single. Some would like to get married but just haven't found the right partners yet – they do hope they will find their Mr./Miss Right, though. Others are not sure whether or not marriage is the right thing for them – we can call people of this type "on-the-fencers", suggesting their open stance on the matter. Then, there are those who have decided not to get married due to their own particular reasons. Perhaps, they have been hurt so much in their previous relationship that they find it impossible to move on and have a new one (pistanthrophobia). Or maybe they prefer to concentrate on their careers/business or devote their limited time on Earth to other interests, such as charity – the priests of the Catholic Church practice celibacy for this reason of serving God for His kingdom. Of course, we need to not forget those who have a boyfriend/girlfriend but haven't gotten married yet (like Rose). Probably they haven't tied the knot because of insufficient funds, or they are still finding out about their partners. And to my knowledge, there are people who enjoy being committed in a relationship rather than a marriage (this is especially common among Westerners).

I think the sort of attitude towards the "bullies" that singles need to adopt is the "why should you care?" one. However, ignoring the pesky askers or throwing "mind your own business" at them would be unwise and too rude an act, and it almost certainly will make you a highly dislikable figure in your family or friend circles. I completely realize that being involved in such a nosy & pushy conversation (especially if happens many times) is an example of "sad" things in life, since we couldn't predict (and decide) what kind of family and society we would be born into. However, a reality is a reality and we should handle it as well and smartly as we can. I am convinced that speaking in a soft, respectful tone is the best way to get out of this T. rex jaw situation. Nevertheless, one must make sure that they give a clear, to-the-point explanation. For example, to a "When are you getting married?" question, a single could reply, "To be honest, I don't know when I will get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet as I haven't found the right one for me, and I'm fine with it. I just let my life flow and I hope I will find my Mr. Right/him and get married at the right time." Bear in mind that this has to be stated in a firm and confident way in order to give the best effect possible.

If there is one lesson that can be drawn from this issue, it is that some (or many) people desperately need to become more mature (and less of a busybody) and pay more respect to others with regard to their privacy, to which they are fully entitled.

Thank you for reading this article and please share your thoughts and experiences regarding this matter in the comment section below!
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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

LDR

Happy Valentine's Day, readers! Yeah, it is such a coincidence that I'm writing this article about love on Valentine's Day, which is aptly (although not necessarily) represented by couples giving chocolates, candies, and the like, expressing this important and immortal quality of humanity. Before we go further, let me do a real quick check: do you know what 'LDR' stands for?


Although it might sound like the name of an organization (think of IBM, WHO, or BBC), 'LDR' is actually the abbreviation of 'long-distance relationship', in contrast to 'SDR', which is the short form of 'short-distance relationship' (Honestly, I don't know whether the term 'SDR' legitimately exists or not and I am too lazy to do research by googling it *LOL*. I'm going to use it throughout the article as it sounds harmonic with its 'sibling'. *grinning*). As for the meaning, I don't think I'd have to expound it to you, as it is crystal-clear that 'LDR' refers to a relationship in which the lovers live far away, separated by long distances (well, that's a bonus for you). I believe that not many people have this kind of relationship, but some do. And, I am one of them. However, this article will not be focusing on my relationship with my overseas girlfriend, but rather it contains insights into an LDR, partly derived from my experience as a 'performer' of this life choice. Let's get started.

Most people in an LDR, by the very fact that they live thousands of miles from their loved ones, cannot frequently meet. And this is I think what most people would agree is the greatest challenge of living in an LDR. The feeling of missing between the lovers must be, to a great degree, deeper than that felt by SDRers, and it can literally bring them to the point of being extremely emotional. Tears rolling down the cheeks could be a common sight among LDRers. While SDRers can be in close proximity to their loves whenever they want (it is not necessarily true, but I'd say most of them would meet their partners at least once a week, typically on the weekend), long-distance 'fighters' have to have a huge supply of patience as they need to wait for ages before hugging and kissing their babies. Hugging and kissing. Right. Unlike SDRers, the encounters had by LDR couples typically do not outnumber (half of) your hand fingers, and it is plausible to think that this results in them doing the two affectionate acts many more at one time that their short-distance counterparts. However, as with other types of relationships, the primary recipe for success in an LDR is communication. The quality and quantity have to be maintained in such a way that the passion between the couple keeps on burning. Thanks to technology, now it is super easy to reach your beloved one, say, who is 1,000 miles away. Two of the apps that I recommend LDRers use for video calls are WhatsApp and Messenger. Although you can't really touch your partners via this kind of program, they are really helpful when it comes to having an LDR.

A friend of mine (a former colleague, if I'm not mistaken) once suggested that it would be economical to have an LDR since the couple meet much more rarely than SDRers. I would say that this might or might not be the case, depending on certain factors. LDRers may need to save up a lot for flight tickets; these could cost hundreds of dollars (I myself would need to pay approximately 110 USD for a round-trip flight ticket at a minimum). In addition, they might need to "make up for" what they would have done as an SDR couple: having fun at tourist attractions, having dinner, buying couple clothes, etc. I also heard this sort of notion that LDRers are prone to unfaithfulness, or that it is wiser not to be in an LDR as there is the insecure feeling that your partner will cheat on you. Well, I'd argue that SDRers also cannot escape the fact that there are also numerous opportunities for them to date another man or woman and break their romantic promise. I believe it is all rooted in commitment; it goes back to their very own heart. One won't be swayed into another's arm if they genuinely love their partner, whatever the situation is.

The last comment I would like to make is about the status of an LDR itself. I have the conviction that LDRs cannot go forever: ultimately, they need to transform into SDRs. So we might see an LDR as a stepping-stone into a more 'perfect' state of relationship, where a man or woman can be in full intimacy with their beloved one. As this is a very important matter, an LDR couple ought to discuss it seriously and decisively.

LDRs are not for the faint-hearted. It demands courage, perseverance, resilience, and, last but not least, commitment.

Are you in an LDR? Or do you know someone who is in an LDR? Please share your thoughts and/or experiences in the comments below!
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