She "seized" my husband

It's a sentence that might have plausibly been uttered by a woman who had "lost" her husband to another member of her sex. It's been formulated by my brain according to a comment on a Facebook post I read a while back.

On a usual day in the Cenozoic Era, a highly advanced ape was online on Facebook and came across a newspaper article whose theme is so popular and seems to endlessly captivate the members of his own species: love.

Romanticism never dies and being in an indescribable realm with a beloved one, spending day after day, night after night with them is, I think, akin to dwelling in the worldly version of the heaven, depicted as a paragon of bliss by some, or all, religions on our planet. Yet, the truth is sometimes, or often, hurtful and doesn't necessarily reflect our idealistic expectations.

Basically, the news tells the readers that romantic and/or sexual deviance occurred in a relationship between two wed humans (one or both are public figures) and this brought about separation to the couple (and you know who betrayed who). Another Homo sapiens commented on the post, condemning the third party by saying that she "seized" the woman's spouse, and her remark was characterized by rage and contempt to the "mistress". It is so clear how disgusted the commenter was by her immoral behavior. The "seizer" was devilish and she was the one to blame for the ruined relationship. However, is this true?

To me, it is just unfair to say that. Bear in mind that any relationship involves not only one person, but at least two (two in this case). Willingness to start a romantic and/or sexual connection from both parties is a prerequisite for its existence. The fact that a second heart-breaking relationship commenced shows that the guy gave consent to it (he could have said "no", but he didn't) and "maligning" only the female newcomer is just unwise.

Taking this to a larger scale, it is also a great opportunity to remind ourselves to be more analytical when looking into and evaluating a situation. Averting bias is no less important and critical thinking should reign in order for the world to wend its way rapidly toward excellence and advancement in all of its aspects. Continue reading

True Man

I am writing this post partly because of the book I am currently reading, The Good Women of China by Xinran. In this book, which tells tales of the past lives of Chinese women, there are many accounts of men doing appalling things. In one chapter, a Chinese woman described all men as "filthy, lustful, bestial, and brutal", a conclusion that she made based on the gang rape she experienced when she was a teenager. It is just one of the many dreadful deeds of men's written in this book.

Another reason is my observation of men around me. Try living in Jakarta and you will understand right away. Traffic violations, including drivers running a red light, which is essentially dangerous, are so common in this city that they seem to have become a normal and acceptable practice (most drivers are males). One of the closest men of mine was (and probably is still) a gambler. And I can feel strongly that he is an idle man and not willing to learn. The result? There have been a lot of irritating effects imposed by him on me. I once met a university friend at Grand Indonesia, one of my favorite shopping centers in Jakarta. He, who was already married at that time, told me something that suggests that it is okay to enjoy "beautiful views"; they refer to other women's appearances.

Talking of Indonesia, corruption, violence, murder, and sexual harassment committed by men appear regularly in this country's media. One of the most recent pieces of shocking news is an already married man killed his pregnant girlfriend and mutilated her. This vile act happened in Tangerang, a big city which borders Jakarta. What is more, I have heard lots of saddening stories of unfaithful husbands, who might have made vows that they would be loyal to their wives until the ends of their lives whatever happened.

So, what does this mean? All of these (and other similar things) have made me think of myself, think of my existence. The world is filled with masses of evil men; they behave destructively in many different ways. I regard them as the antithesis of role models; I must be a true man. I feel the urge to be a good man, a respectable citizen, a devoted and loving husband, and so on. That is actually an honorable goal that all men have to achieve, including me.

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Money

About a week ago I was sitting on the front seat of my eldest brother's car. I was with him, who was beside me, driving through Jakarta, a city with a slew of problems but a host of addictive foods. En route to some place that I already forget, we talked about a topic that I'm sure has always been in the 'heart' of anyone, anytime, anywhere—since the system was adopted worldwide.

We discussed our parents, which were (and are) sick. We had (and have) to spend sums of money coming from our bread and butter. To be honest, it had been as if I was an obese sauropod when I went to the cashier in a hospital in Sunter, North Jakarta, and swipe my bank card to pay for my father's treatment. It had been quite difficult for me to visit my bank website, do some Internet banking, and let those rupiahs 'fly' from my bank account to pay for my mother's. But the fruit that came from that not very long conversation kind of 'widened my eyes'.

Money. This five-letter word is enough to be the source of most problems in the world. I'm not a statistics expert but I believe there are a great number of spouses that have gotten divorced and/or had affairs because of money, not to mention high crime rates brought about by this static thing. Have you read a newspaper today? If yes, I'm pretty sure that at least some of the bad news articles you've read have money as the culprit.

But the problem is not money itself. As the Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:10, it is our desire that is to blame. In Matthew 6:33, God 'slaps' us so that we don't focus on other things; we have to free ourselves from angst and lead our lives to only one thing: His reign.

Here are some points to end this article:

• Be wise with your money since God lends it to you for His glory. Remember: You are chosen. If it is for good, why don't you let it go?
• Destroy your feeling of insecurity. Rely on God; He is the True Protector.
• People who are winners are those who know that money is only a medium and strive to put as much effort as they can for the good of the world.

Credit: David Hinjaya

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Love

What is love? A perpetually asked question. A timeless question.

As a Christian I believe that love is a free gift from God. God is love, and out of His love He created the world, and us. That's why we should be grateful for this life. Living a life is not a burden but grace.

The nature of love is giving. The more one gives another, the more love they have.

However, giving is not enough. The base of or what motivates it should be sincerity. Even though you give one million dollars to 100 people each, if you don't have sincerity, you don't have as much love as those who give only one dollar to only one person with sincerity.

Love isn't choosy or picky. It includes ALL. It doesn't care who you are, where you are from, what your sex is, what your job is, how old you are, etc. That's why love is universal. There's no exception.

Having love means having responsibility. Love is not about a mere feeling. You always have something to do and it's enjoyable! For example, if you're a husband you have to serve your wife the best and vice versa. Saying "I love you" is good but showing that it is true is much better.

Love is active, not passive. In other words, love makes one productive. You can't just sit down and procrastinate. People who have love always take action to make others happy, to advance their life, to make them feel comfortable, to reassure them. They always make efforts to achieve them.

Speaking of love between a man and a woman, one who has it must cherish their partner. They will keep their beloved's chastity until they marry. In point of fact, that's the proof that they truly love theirs.

A man who loves his partner or wife is faithful. He doesn't flirt with another woman or cheat on the woman of his life. He devotes his life to her and his eyes are only directed to her. A true man has only one woman throughout his life. This also applies to a woman.

Those are my views on love. Your comments are appreciated. :) Continue reading

Principles - Prince's Disciples

The world is changing so fast and we are to decide where to go and what to do. Many offers, many options, and, therefore, many possible results.

Christians need to remember that they are "Christians". They are the disciples of Christ, the Son of the Father, the Prince. Christians are to live a life that's according to His plan, His good plan. However, being a Christian is not easy, as stated in Matthew 10:16.

There are many "wolves". Temptations, challenges, and problems are all around us. We cannot evade those. We have free will and our commitment to God is always asked every time we meet the "wolves".

A Christian should remember that they are capable of being a good Christian, by God's grace. They must stick to the principles, the teachings of Jesus Christ, every word that comes out of His mouth.

Following Christ needs bravery and resoluteness. It should be consistent, not temporary. You might be hurt; you might be left. You might be alone in this world but in fact you are not. (Mark 3:35)

Everyone can leave you but God will remain beside you if you do His will, do what He wants, which is exactly the purpose of us being here.

To end this article, let this Kent M. Keith's quote touch our heart. Continue reading

Quote #7

"True love can be found only in God. Be with Him; that is the fullness of life." - Thomas à Kempis

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I Am Number One

We live in a world with "one trillion" surroundings. Our family, our school friends, our boss, our daily chores, our iPhone, our riches, our beloved dogs, our cute dinosaurs (birds), and so on. It is our fate and in this "chock-a-block" place we are called to live our life to the fullest, according to God's will.

These things, which are good and can be used to glorify God, sometimes can be very dangerous to us. I mean when we neglect Him, when we make Him the ...th in our life, when He is not Number One.

Let's see what the Lord says to us in the Bible: Luke 10:27.

Look at the first thing he expressly states. It is HIM. HE is the foremost in our life. We are to love HIM above all. All are from HIM and all are for HIM. Nobody, nobody but HIM. (remember something? ;p) Loving God is the requirement for loving our neighbors, which He mentions later.

Do I pray every day? Do I refuse to go to the church for any insufficient reason? Do I build an intimate relationship with God day by day?

God is the source of all. We are His. We are not our own. Let us be humble and dedicate ourselves to Him. Let us serve Him with all of what we have.


I Am Number Four

Who is Number One? Continue reading

Wi-Fi & Wife

Aha! You know Wi-Fi, don't you? :) You can connect to the Internet through Wi-Fi. Many "institutions" provide this service, from Starbucks to Dunkin' Donuts. A little quiz: What does Wi-Fi stand for? You don't need to be a computer science student. LOL Search it with Google and you'll get "Wireless Fidelity". :)

How about wife? Ah, I think even the first graders know. A wife is a husband's spouse. And that's definitely true.

So? What are their relationships? Besides their similar spelling and pronunciation, they are closely related in .... Let's see.

When you decide to be a husband or a wife, you must, of course, "embrace" faithfulness.  No marriages can last without faithfulness, without fidelity (without God either). So, if you are a husband or a wife, remember Wi-Fi. :)

Ehm, still not complete. :( Just go on. :)

I remember an article written in a KOMPAS newspaper (KOMPAS is an Indonesian newspaper). It tells an experience of meeting a wife who is happy to see handsome guys when she is out of her husband's reach. So terrible!

Fidelity is about not only when you are within the range of your spouse, when you can hear her/his voice, when s/he can see you, but also when the situation is "wireless". When you are in a mountain and your beloved wifey/hubby is at home, stay loyal. When you are in Jakarta and your lovely spouse is in Bangkok, keep faithful. When you are surrounded by 1000 girls/guys who want to kiss you, kiss your sweetheart's photo.

Fiuhh, complete: Wi-Fi! (Wireless Fidelity) :D

"I have a wife. Wi-Fi!" :D
"I am a wife. Wi-Fi!" ^_^ Continue reading

Quote #3

"Love without faithfulness is not love." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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