True Man

I am writing this post partly because of the book I am currently reading, The Good Women of China by Xinran. In this book, which tells tales of the past lives of Chinese women, there are many accounts of men doing appalling things. In one chapter, a Chinese woman described all men as "filthy, lustful, bestial, and brutal", a conclusion that she made based on the gang rape she experienced when she was a teenager. It is just one of the many dreadful deeds of men's written in this book.

Another reason is my observation of men around me. Try living in Jakarta and you will understand right away. Traffic violations, including drivers running a red light, which is essentially dangerous, are so common in this city that they seem to have become a normal and acceptable practice (most drivers are males). One of the closest men of mine was (and probably is still) a gambler. And I can feel strongly that he is an idle man and not willing to learn. The result? There have been a lot of irritating effects imposed by him on me. I once met a university friend at Grand Indonesia, one of my favorite shopping centers in Jakarta. He, who was already married at that time, told me something that suggests that it is okay to enjoy "beautiful views"; they refer to other women's appearances.

Talking of Indonesia, corruption, violence, murder, and sexual harassment committed by men appear regularly in this country's media. One of the most recent pieces of shocking news is an already married man killed his pregnant girlfriend and mutilated her. This vile act happened in Tangerang, a big city which borders Jakarta. What is more, I have heard lots of saddening stories of unfaithful husbands, who might have made vows that they would be loyal to their wives until the ends of their lives whatever happened.

So, what does this mean? All of these (and other similar things) have made me think of myself, think of my existence. The world is filled with masses of evil men; they behave destructively in many different ways. I regard them as the antithesis of role models; I must be a true man. I feel the urge to be a good man, a respectable citizen, a devoted and loving husband, and so on. That is actually an honorable goal that all men have to achieve, including me.