A Reflection on Death

My dad has just passed away. At the age of 67, after battling liver cirrhosis for many years, he finally succumbed to the medical condition. My relationship with him would not have been described as best; we had a multiple-year-old feud until recently, when we naturally made it up. One thing I will never forget is the fact that he took me on his motorcycle to Jay Chou's first concert in Jakarta back in 2013, for which I am infinitely grateful. (Thank you, Dad! 🙏🏻💙✨)

My late father, Hendry Budiman, resting in his casket in Husada Funeral Home, Mangga Besar, Jakarta (photo taken on May 1, 2025)

A portrait of my late father, Hendry Budiman (photo taken probably on May 3, 2013)

Despite our not-so-close relationship, I couldn't prevent myself from shedding tears. I think it's perfectly natural for us humans to cry for a deceased person who has been with us for a long time; their departure from life is a natural tearjerker. This was certainly a sad moment for me and my family, and I would like to thank everyone who expressed their love and support during the bereavement period. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

The death of my direct male progenitor has consequently shoved me into a state of reflection. That day would and has come. My father has ceased living in this world, completely losing consciousness and transforming into nonliving matter. This serves as a poignant reminder of the ephemerality of our lives. Our time on this planet is incredibly short, and the clock is continuously ticking, unable to be stopped. Conscious of this fact, we need to get our act together, before it is too late. Sing, dance, travel, smile, play, love, explore, ... the list is endless. Do what you want while time is still available, and relish the present to the fullest because now is the most important moment of all. This is the essence of the Stoic practice of memento mori; the great philosopher Epictetus instructs us to "let death put everything in perspective".

Death can seem odious and petrifying. The thought of having your mind shut down and your existence zapped can certainly drive you nuts! However, if we take a helicopter view of life, we can see it through a completely different lens and stop being neurotic. Dr. Kenneth Lacovara points out in his interview with FRANCE 24 English: "Everybody dies. That's what people do. That's what organisms do." It is just part of the workings of nature. Rather than lamenting this biological phenomenon, I think it is prudent to "celebrate" it as a fact of life. Dwelling in romanticization will bring about more bad than good. Reality will not change through wishful thinking: facing up to it is the only way.

I would like to conclude this article with words from the preeminent guru Osho Rajneesh:

"I do not want life to be taken seriously. Seriousness is a kind of psychological disease. Life has to be a fun. Life has to be a rejoicing, a dance, a song, a love affair. In such a small life, being serious is simply wasting the opportunity. That's what I mean when I said it is a circus; it should be everywhere a circus, and we should turn everything in playfulness. But people are so heavy and long-faces, and so burdened and carrying loads on them. And life is so short, soon you will be reaching to your grave. Before reaching to the grave, have a little dance, a little drink."

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Quote #122

"Silent moderates are (at least partially) responsible for the action of violent extremists." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #109

"Eliminating illusory importance consequently extirpates unnecessary stress." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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My Life Now and Then

I'm writing this article at Quiznos Menteng, Jakarta, a superbly cozy eatery which I would recommend to anyone seeking a perfect place for delectable food and great relaxation. Sated after gulping down an eight-piece pizza, I am sitting by myself in the spacious restaurant, contemplating my life at present and in the past.

Pardon my narcissism. 😋

When people hear the word "Chindo", they probably picture a well-off person whose parents own a successful business. They don't need to think about how to keep their head above water, being immune from financial suffering or agony. I believe there are a great many people of my ilk who match the above description, hence the stereostype; however, I'm not one of them. Although my childhood wasn't completely abominable, I wasn't born with a silver (or bronze) spoon in my mouth. There were times of adversity, which any sane human being would not want to be in.

Nomadicity was a pesky thing in my childhood – my family had to move from one abode to another several times. There was a time when five of us (I have two older brothers) had to live in a relatively tiny room in a boarding house. As a result, there were probably two disastrous events where diseases spread in the family, affecting at least some of us and knocking the humans into gross health inconveniences. I'd say it was probably almost a borderline inhuman way of living.

My dad didn't have a permanent job and my mom was a housewife, so my family wasn't financially stable. I can't help but lament the fact that my mom had to work really hard, making and selling soy milk in order to bring home the bacon. Eating pizza was a luxury for us, simply because money was a rarity for us. My mom's blood, sweat, and tears is something I cannot possibly forget and will always be deeply thankful for.

Now things have changed quite a lot. Of course I'm not as wealthy as my music idol, the Taiwanese maestro Jay Chou, but at least, thanks to my lovely livelihood, I can devour a Subway sandwich without thinking much about the price. Now I have my own library comprised of multiple books which are right up my alley (take a look at my bibliotheca here) – thank heaven I have reached one of my dreams! My younger self wasn't as "lucky" as my present self (even my college education had to be financially supported by my aunts), but it was no problem, really. We can't choose what family we are born into etc. (it's a Stoic revelation), but we can choose to change the course of our lives. What will my future be like? No one knows. Until then I will do my best to pave the way for my life aspirations. 😉

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Quote #100

"Do not actively seek validation or recognition. They will naturally come to you if you are really valuable and deserving." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #89

"Having an imaginary friend is not a problem as long as it doesn't propel you to harming your real friends." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #88

"No one asks to be born. Subjecting your child to parental egomania is utterly egregious." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #87

"Running away from problems is not a solution. Take the triceratops by the horns because, ultimately, you have to deal with them." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Q&A (Q-Man and Answers) #4: How can we embrace continual sadness?

  

#4

Question from Azer: How can we embrace continual sadness?

Q-Man's answer:

Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, nor a psychiatrist. Should one experience such a feeling and need help, the best person to seek out is certainly such a mental health professional, which I am not. However, I will try my best to, hopefully, help the asker through my knowledge and experience.

I believe in order to get rid of a problem, the root of it has to be pinpointed and then obliterated, by any means necessary. Everything in this world has a cause, so it's only a matter of time and effort before it can be dealt with. What caused the continual sadness? What underlies it? It all comes down to the answer to these questions.

The best thing that I can offer (and one having the issue could try) is something I discovered pretty recently: Stoicism. This ancient school of philosophy will rectify the paths that many people's minds have wrongly taken. The depression may be merely due to our mind naughtily and stubbornly seeing life in a deceptively mistaken light. As Stoic philosopher Seneca said, "[W]e suffer more often in imagination than in reality." Is your sadness "justifiable" or has your mind banefully exaggerated the severity of the situation? Probably the solution to this mental health problem is simply plucking up the courage to change your mind.

Q&A (Q-Man and Answers) is a section where I answer questions from my readers. Feel free to send me any question through one of my social media channels. Note that you may choose to remain anonymous.

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Quote #81

"Practicing self-love doesn't necessarily mean being egotistical. It is okay to care for someone but you should not sacrifice yourself." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Financial Management

This post isn't about the whole business of financial management; it's rather about my way of managing my own finances. Whatever you do in this world, almost certainly you have to deal with money, simply because the monetary system is firmly built in most societies. You can be an artist or a paleontologist, creating astoundingly beautiful works of art or making groundbreaking dinosaurian discoveries, but you'll still need money to survive on this minuscule cosmological speck of dust. Failing to make money AND sustain its existence would result in the eventual demise of the person in question, hence the super importance of financial management.

It is actually a colleague of mine who inspired me to create this piece of writing. A few days ago she unexpectedly asked me how I manage my finances. I did my best to explain it and she seemed to find my tips helpful. So, I thought to myself, "Why don't I share it with my blog readers?" And the rest is history.

Someone said that however much you earn, you are sure to have financial problems if you can't manage it. And I couldn't agree more with that. Having one million dollars is useless if you live a lavish, spendthrift lifestyle, whereas (depending on where you live) 400 USD may be enough to fulfill all your needs for one month. So, the first and most fundamental 'rule' is to change your mindset. Do you really need what you want to buy? Or is it just a mere whim, which would result in lamentable wastefulness? Having the 'right' attitude towards money is absolutely crucial.

Then comes my strategy for better organizing my money. For me, payday is not payday. (What the hail did you say, Q-Man? You ask.) The day when I receive my salary is just like any other days of that month, which means I won't spend it like crazy. I think of myself as earning an equal amount of money every day (or being paid daily) and that entails dividing my salary into roughly 30. This 'smaller salary' is then reduced by my daily fixed expenses (things like rent and my mom's share). And ta-da! That's how much I have for a particular day. Every day I try my best not to spend more than my 'right' – the less I spend, the better. Of course, there can be occasional bursts of spending but they should be limited and justifications must be provided if they occur.

To minimalize spending, I pay close attention to two key components: transportation and sustenance. In my experience, these types of expenses can bloat spending in an invisibly insidious way, so to speak. My normal transportation expense for a single working day is 7,000 IDR (round-trip bus commute), which means, assuming there are 20 working days in a month, I spend 150,000 IDR monthly. If I were lazy and opted for online motorcycle taxi transportation, I would spend roughly 40,000 IDR per day, which amounts to around 800,000 IDR per month! The difference is insanely huge! (Actually, I did use the more expensive travel option when the pandemic was much worse, because, well, it was the best choice available – health matters.) And this is not to mention food and drinks we consume. I hope this can give you a good sense of how our income can be 'stealthily' gnawed on by things sought by our pleasure-obsessed selves.

Does that mean I don't spend money on things like hobbies and interests at all? Of course not. I also allocate a monthly spending money budget – mostly for books. However, it is important to set a healthy and reasonable limit to ensure our continued existence on this planet.

Sticking to this scheme, I would manage to save a sizable percentage of my salary, which largely goes into my emergency fund – this should NOT be forgotten because who knows what is in store? There are innumerable things outside our control (pandemics are a good example), so it is certainly prudent to anticipate any trials or tribulations.

That's all for now! What do you think of my money management? Is it similar to yours? If not, would you like to implement it? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

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Quote #80

"Denigrating others will not make you look better in any way, shape, or form." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #79

"Never will world peace be achieved unless and until all of us live under the flag of humanity." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #78

"You are best at being yourself." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #76

"Counter an argument with an argument. The moment you resort to violence, you simply lose." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Quote #73

"Always make a good impression on someone when you first meet them, and never make a bad impression every time you take leave of them." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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A Passion for Correction

Everybody has a passion, don't they? Okay, I concede that it is probably more precise to say that many or most people have it. Without a passion, life can overflow with mundanity, leaving no space for the element of excitement that would otherwise make it much more interesting and worth living. I was born roughly 31 years ago, and it appears that ever since then I have had a passion for something that would possibly make many people raise their eyebrows. And that's a passion for correction.

My bodily configuration is easily to "blame" for this offbeat path. By nature, I would wince at things that are square pegs in round holes. Incorrectness and imperfection get under my skin and launch me into a state of nagging unease. Order is what I earnestly strive for and aspire to achieve. This eccentric tendency eventually and naturally led to me taking up an unusual hobby of making corrections, and this is most pronounced in the area of English.

I first learned English epochs ago in elementary school and instantly got hooked on it. English, as a whole, captivates me, but the most interesting aspect of this international language for me was – and still is – grammar. While it seems that a massive number of English learners dread and regard it as a nightmare, I am actually fascinated by the workings of the English language. Throughout my life, I kept on learning English and discovered myriad interesting things, including the revelation that English, including its grammar, evolves – just like everything else in the world (also read Language Finds a Way). Now I pursue a career in the field of English education and this is certainly a dream come true.

My enormous interest in English inevitably blends with my great passion for correction. In classroom settings, I do my level best to give my students useful corrections for their improvement in the language. However, as I stated earlier, it extends to pursuits outside my livelihood sphere. Over the years I have spotted mistakes in books etc., wrote their corrections and sent them to those responsible. Not all of them responded, but I am really glad to have contributed what I could for better accuracy, nevertheless.

Among those replying to me, three were so kind-hearted that not only did they thank me, but they also went the extra mile. The first one is 4M, a Hongkong-based company that produces educational toys and crafts. In 2012, I made corrections for its two products: Dinosaur Skeleton Excavation Kit: Tyrannosaurus rex and Dig a Glow Dinosaur. The company's representative, Daniel Yun, replied to my email, thanking me and saying that they would like to send Glow-in-the-Dark 3-Dimensional Dinosaur to me as a gesture of goodwill. I was joyfully speechless. Of course, I accepted the kind offer and received the dinosaurian present.

Glow-in-the-Dark 3-Dimensional Dinosaur

The second one is one of my favorite authors Darren Naish. While enjoying his marvelous book Dinosaurs: How They Lived and Evolved, I jotted down writing mistakes which I found there and sent the corrections to the British paleontologist via Twitter. As a token of appreciation, Dr. Naish included me in the acknowledgements of the second edition to the book (my name is also mentioned in his blog post The Second Edition of Naish and Barrett's Dinosaurs).

Acknowledgements of Dinosaurs: How They Lived and Evolved (Second Edition) with my name marked

The last one is the publishing house Collins. While it seems to be not as popular as Oxford and the like when it comes to ELT (English Language Teaching), the British publisher has actually produced some of my favorite books on the subject, such as Work on Your Idioms. One tremendously useful resource for learning English released by Collins is Collins COBUILD English Usage (Fourth Edition). While perusing this superb book, I noticed a number of mistakes and sent them to Collins ELT via Facebook over a period of time. A representative named Yan always warmly replied to my messages, forming a congenial conversation atmosphere. This went on up to a point where the publisher decided to send me something as a way to say thank you. Do you know what that something is? A duo of amazing dictionaries: Collins COBUILD Idioms Dictionary and Collins COBUILD Phrasal Verbs Dictionary!

Collins COBUILD Idioms and Phrasal Verbs Dictionaries

This sort of rectification endeavors is not the only form in which my linguistic craziness is manifested. A few years ago was an epiphany that kickstarted an exciting project on Instagram. I had never had an account on the social media platform before (also read Why I Don't Use Instagram), but this had to change thanks to the light-bulb moment. I created an account named English Corrector, which captures writing mistakes made all over the world and invites its followers, namely ECers, to correct them – of course, I provide the answer and explanation in the description of every post. English Corrector also offers daily quizzes through Instagram stories, which can also be accessed via Highlights.

English Corrector

Last but not least, I also make use of my dino eyes (yes, eagles are dinosaurs) for commercial purposes. Troofreader helps you with your writing by means of proofreading and translating from English into Indonesian and vice versa. Troofreader's motto is "Clarity is a virtue."

Troofreader Logo

Note: Information about English Corrector and Troofreader can be found in the left sidebar of this blog.

I think my burning passion for correction will last for as long as I can breathe. It is part of what defines me as a person.

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Quote #70

"Accept reality, no matter how harsh or grim it is. Without coming to terms with it, you will never be your full self." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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The Little Book of Humanism – Book Review

The Little Book of Humanism

by Andrew Copson and Alice Roberts

I'd like to begin my review by making a statement: This is one of the most important, if not the most important, books I have ever read in my life. And I do wish I could have (and had) read this book way, way back when I was much younger. Yes, it is little indeed, as the title goes, but do NOT underestimate the impact this book could make on your life – it is gargantuan and potentially life-changing.

The Little Book of Humanism 👫🌏📖 by Andrew Copson and Alice Roberts is a modest-sized book explaining what humanism is and what being a humanist is all about. Here you will find a treasure trove of humanist wisdom and insights in the forms of quotes, meditations, and poems. Among the vast number of humanists featured in this book are Carl Sagan, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Margaret Atwood, David Attenborough, Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins, Confucius, and Epicurus. Why should you read The Little Book of Humanism? Well, this book is a perfect guide to living your life to the fullest as a human. It aptly begins with a discussion of the veritable nature of humans – how we came about and who we really are – and throughout the book, you will learn about humanist values, virtues, endeavors, and lessons in a good number of chapters on diversity and equality, thinking clearly, and science and progress, for example. What should we base our actions on? Is curiosity a good thing? Does technology deserve to be abhorred? How can we cope with the inescapable thing called death? You'll find answers to these questions and more in this wonderfully informative book.

The text in The Little Book of Humanism is exquisitely beautiful and profoundly luminous. The co-authors employ engaging conversational writing style which makes the book highly readable and accessible. Despite being a nonfiction book, I found this to be an absolute page-turner, wanting to devour more and more to sate my appetite for knowledge about humanism – I was completely hooked and absorbed throughout! It was an immense pleasure to let myself be toured by the superbly educational writers, and I would like to give them an infinite round of applause. 👏👏👏

You may already be a humanist – just as I was before reading it – or you may not. Whichever you are, I believe there is something to learn from this engrossing book which will make you a better human. The Little Book of Humanism is a thought-provoking book that will continue to serve to help people find "purpose, meaning and joy" and bring out the best in them – for themselves and for the world.

Notes:

• I think the best way to read The Little Book of Humanism is from cover to cover, but picking a random page and reading the content would work too. Enjoy!
• I could discuss the book in more detail. If you're interested to hear what I have to say, please do contact me personally.

Have you read The Little Book of Humanism? What is your opinion on this book? Share what you think in the comment section below!

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You're Roarsome – Book Review

You're Roarsome

Summersdale

It was serendipity that ultimately united me with this mini-book. I don't recall the details (although my dinosaurian passion must have been the trigger) but I am extremely glad that I ordered this from one of the most reliable bookstores on the planet: Book Depository. Now, what can this cute volume do to your life?

Let's be honest: we are fragile creatures. I reckon no-one in this world can say they are on cloud nine at all times, bearing no burden whatsoever. While it is true that we are physically built, we have psychology, an aspect that affects much of our own lives. I think it is natural for us to sometimes feel depressed or even down in the dumps. This is where You're Roarsome, published by Summersdale, comes into play.

You're Roarsome is a book chock-full of inspiring, motivating, and uplifting quotes AND dinosaur-related puns which are aimed to exert the same effect on its readers. This is a light book that you can read literally in a day (or an hour), but believe me, it is capable of making a profound impact on your life. The quotes are taken from various people, all of whom I believe are famous figures although I am familiar with only probably about 30% of them. The roster displays names such as Taylor Swift, Neil Gaiman, Hellen Keller, Theodore Roosevelt, Michelle Obama, and Bruce Lee. I found the quotes powerful and moving, boosting my self-confidence, brightening my mood, and encouraging me to be more of me and move forward. The wordplay is also deliciously witty and will surely raise beatific smiles for the readers. If you are in low spirits and need an injection of encouragement, I highly recommend reading You're Roarsome: it will make you believe in yourself more ('cause you are awesome!) and get you ready for what lies ahead in your life.

Note that it is best to treat this book as a self-development book rather than a science book. For example, it mistakenly categorizes a pterosaur as a dinosaur – Pterosauria and Dinosauria are two separate groups of animals. Other than improving its scientific accuracy, it would be wonderful to have numbered pages so that readers can easily find what they want.

Have you read You're Roarsome? What do you think of this book? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

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