LDR

Happy Valentine's Day, readers! Yeah, it is such a coincidence that I'm writing this article about love on Valentine's Day, which is aptly (although not necessarily) represented by couples giving chocolates, candies, and the like, expressing this important and immortal quality of humanity. Before we go further, let me do a real quick check: do you know what 'LDR' stands for?

Although it might sound like the name of an organization (think of IBM, WHO, or BBC), 'LDR' is actually the abbreviation of 'long-distance relationship', in contrast to 'SDR', which is the short form of 'short-distance relationship' (Honestly, I don't know whether the term 'SDR' legitimately exists or not and I am too lazy to do research by googling it *LOL*. I'm going to use it throughout the article as it sounds harmonic with its 'sibling'. *grinning*). As for the meaning, I don't think I'd have to expound it to you, as it is crystal-clear that 'LDR' refers to a relationship in which the lovers live far away, separated by long distances (well, that's a bonus for you). I believe that not many people have this kind of relationship, but some do. And, I am one of them. However, this article will not be focusing on my relationship with my overseas girlfriend, but rather it contains insights into an LDR, partly derived from my experience as a 'performer' of this life choice. Let's get started.

Most people in an LDR, by the very fact that they live thousands of miles from their loved ones, cannot frequently meet. And this is I think what most people would agree is the greatest challenge of living in an LDR. The feeling of missing between the lovers must be, to a great degree, deeper than that felt by SDRers, and it can literally bring them to the point of being extremely emotional. Tears rolling down the cheeks could be a common sight among LDRers. While SDRers can be in close proximity to their loves whenever they want (it is not necessarily true, but I'd say most of them would meet their partners at least once a week, typically on the weekend), long-distance 'fighters' have to have a huge supply of patience as they need to wait for ages before hugging and kissing their babies. Hugging and kissing. Right. Unlike SDRers, the encounters had by LDR couples typically do not outnumber (half of) your hand fingers, and it is plausible to think that this results in them doing the two affectionate acts many more at one time that their short-distance counterparts. However, as with other types of relationships, the primary recipe for success in an LDR is communication. The quality and quantity have to be maintained in such a way that the passion between the couple keeps on burning. Thanks to technology, now it is super easy to reach your beloved one, say, who is 1,000 miles away. Two of the apps that I recommend LDRers use for video calls are WhatsApp and Messenger. Although you can't really touch your partners via this kind of program, they are really helpful when it comes to having an LDR.

A friend of mine (a former colleague, if I'm not mistaken) once suggested that it would be economical to have an LDR since the couple meet much more rarely than SDRers. I would say that this might or might not be the case, depending on certain factors. LDRers may need to save up a lot for flight tickets; these could cost hundreds of dollars (I myself would need to pay approximately 110 USD for a round-trip flight ticket at a minimum). In addition, they might need to "make up for" what they would have done as an SDR couple: having fun at tourist attractions, having dinner, buying couple clothes, etc. I also heard this sort of notion that LDRers are prone to unfaithfulness, or that it is wiser not to be in an LDR as there is the insecure feeling that your partner will cheat on you. Well, I'd argue that SDRers also cannot escape the fact that there are also numerous opportunities for them to date another man or woman and break their romantic promise. I believe it is all rooted in commitment; it goes back to their very own heart. One won't be swayed into another's arm if they genuinely love their partner, whatever the situation is.

The last comment I would like to make is about the status of an LDR itself. I have the conviction that LDRs cannot go forever: ultimately, they need to transform into SDRs. So we might see an LDR as a stepping-stone into a more 'perfect' state of relationship, where a man or woman can be in full intimacy with their beloved one. As this is a very important matter, an LDR couple ought to discuss it seriously and decisively.

LDRs are not for the faint-hearted. It demands courage, perseverance, resilience, and, last but not least, commitment.

Are you in an LDR? Or do you know someone who is in an LDR? Please share your thoughts and/or experiences in the comments below! Continue reading

Discounts

Imagine you are in a mall. You go to a department store. You see many kinds of things. Some of them are interesting but the others not. But, what is "really interesting"  is that there are eye-catching signs. "25%", "30% discount", "up to 80% off", and many others; those are what the signs show.

Discounts are a way to attract people to buy products or services. You can save some money and spend it on anything else. (That's what I know. Please forgive me, I'm not marketeer.)

Item: Watch
Normal Price: $50.50
Discount: 30%
Price After Discount: $35.35

Yeah, cool! You can save $15.15. You can buy two copies of Raptor Red, one for you and one for your mischievous brother. Is it good? Yes, it is. Is it always good? The abrupt answer is NO.

Why? The answer is related to my article Need and Greed. The mistake that people sometimes (or often?) make is that they are tempted to buy discounted things because there are discounts. If you think about it, it makes no sense. The fact that there are discounts is not a good reason why you buy things. We buy things
because we think those will be useful for us, because we will use them for our good, because they will affect our lives well, because they will bring about good effects to us.

If you buy a thing with an original price of $10 at a reduced price of $8 without the right reason, actually you do not save $2; you throw away $8 instead.

Laura: "Brian, look at the T-shirt!"
Brian: "Oh, what's wrong with it?"
Laura: "It's so cheap! There's a 75% discount! It's just $10 now! Get it!"
Brian: "Oh. Thanks, Laura, but I have plenty of clothes at home. :) Laura, you look thirsty. Why not drink an orange juice? I'll treat you. :)"
Laura: "Ah.. Sure.. Thanks, Brian. :)" Continue reading

Spoil

About two weeks ago I was eating a portion of ketoprak at my granny's. And—no, no, it hadn't spoiled. I'm talking about something that's completely different.

One of my cousins, a six-year-old girl, wanted to get a cracker from my ketoprak. I refused to give it to her because she was spoiled rotten (now you've got it!). She was angry and tried to get it from me. However, I managed to "save" my beloved crackers from her, temporarily. Some time later, when I was not attentive, she grabbed, not one, but some crackers! If I had a T. rex... Okay, let's move on to the next point.

In the beginning, I was really mad at her. But when I thought more deeply, I realized that the child was just a "victim". As far as I am concerned, her parents are so "soft". They don't dare to give her punishments—educating ones, of course. That's what I regret.

Parents are the ones who, above all, must educate their children well. They must lead them to a good, balanced life. In school, teachers do teach children but the role of parents is undoubtedly incredibly essential. There are some things that children don't get/learn from school.

Children are successors. They will be the next leaders, the people who will take our legacy. Sooner or later they will replace us in this world. Can you imagine how would it be if this world were ruled by the spoiled?

I'm sorry, Doraemon. :p Continue reading

Sons of Reasons

Sometimes I feel we, humans, are too "imaginative". When asked by a person, probably a friend or our mother or father, to do this or to do that, we often say, "I'm sorry I can't because bla bla bla." 1,000 reasons come out of our mouth. The problem is those reasons are often exaggerated and, sometimes, implausible.

Let's see this example.

One morning
Mother: Claire, could you buy me tissues in Carrefour?
Claire: I am sorry, mom. I'm busy doing my homework. (the homework is to be submitted one month later)
Mother: It's okay. You can do it later in the afternoon.
Claire: Oh, I'll be tired, mom. This homework is hard. (write two paragraphs about something that the student likes. Is it exhausting?)
Mother: Oh, okay. How about the evening?
Claire: Mom, you know I have an appointment with Dr. Phil Currie at 5 p.m.  It will last probably for about three hours. (three hours? To have an interview consisting of five questions with him? Note: He is a professor. Don't you think he is super busy?)
Mother: You can do it after that, right, darling?
Claire: Mom, please. I have to rest earlier. I'm going to Vietnam tomorrow morning. I won't be fit if I don't get enough sleep. (she always slept late and woke up early to go to school and she never complained about this but now?)
Mother: Okay, I'll buy it myself.

It's just a simple case but can make one of the most important persons in our life feel burden (She has to walk. She has to make effort she doesn't need to make.) and—if she knows—cry.

Stop making up ridiculous reasons. Pulverize all unworthy words. Don't put your head in the clouds. We are not "sons of reasons". We are sons of God, who is directed to live our life to the fullest, to make the most of our life for his glory.

Anything wrong? Yes. it seems as if I were an anti-feminist but I think, having looked at the example given, you already realize that this article is for women too! Daughters of God are not "daughters of twitters", are they? :) Continue reading

See The Unseen

Yesterday, I watched The Avengers with my friend and his family. Many funny scenes there! Hahaha! :D After watching the movie, we went to a food stall to eat gudeg. That was the first time I've eaten that food. It tasted sweeettt~ ;) (try it when you come to Indonesia :)) Then, there happened a chat that inspired me to write this article.

My friend's father said that the cool gadget my friend uses smells his father's sweat. The parents described how they persevered in working, endeavored to be successful. I was touched and my brain was "tugged" by what they said.

I think it is normal for us to adore someone with great amazement.

• "Wow, how clever my teacher is! I want to be like him! He is an English master!"
• "Merry has a cool laptop. I want to be like her too! I want to have one!"
• "Lisa, I once went to John's house. His house is so big! The interior is very beautiful! After all, there are a swimming pool and a basketball court! My dream house!"

Such expressions come out from our mouths.

But, have we ever thought about how much struggle they have undergone? How much toil they have done? How myriad obstacles they have faced?

Achievements, popularity, cars, handphones, .... (please fill this in by yourself)

Those are the "products", the final results. REALIZE that behind all those is something that we should consider, something that we must reflect on, something that is unseen, but we have to see.

So, every time you see someone or something "shining", _ _ _ the un _ _ _ n! Continue reading

Oh-portunity!

Hello, dear friends! I wanna share my experience with this article. :)

As a big fan of Jay Chou, I'd like to get his new album, Exclamation Mark. One day, a friend told me about a competition held by Fullstar. Oh! The winners would get it! I decided to join in that competition and thank God I became one of the three winners! ^__^

Me and Exclamation Mark

As always, his songs are lovely! ;)

After some time, I found another competition on Facebook—held by Periplus. Oh! The winners would get a voucher worth a sum of money to buy books! As a book lover, I joined that competition and thank goodness I became the winner! :D

I used the voucher to buy 3-D Explorer: Dinosaurs: A Journey through the Prehistoric World—I am a dinosaur lover :)—and Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus—I am an Englisholic :D.

Me and 3-D Explorer: Dinosaurs: A Journey through the Prehistoric World

Me and Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus

Opportunity. Something that usually comes to our life—I believe you have ever got it, haven't you? Something that will bring something good to our life. Probably, we often miss it because we are lazy or not confident. Maybe, we usually miss it because we are afraid that people will laugh at us. Perhaps, we miss it because we assume that we will lose. Be positive! "Leave" everyone! You are you! You are the decision maker! Don't let your life be driven by people around you. It is you who is the center of your life. Don't you see that "mouth-watering food"? Don't you see those "shining jewels"? Don't you see YOUR SMILE behind that opportunity?

Be not late. It doesn't await you. The matter is whether we want to take it or not.

I have proven that taking an opportunity is very pleasant. :) (believe me :)) And. . . It is your turn. :)

Oh! Oh! Oh-portunity! :D

(It sounds like the chorus of Chao Pao Nü Shen, the last song in Exclamation Mark) :p Continue reading

"Afford" and "Effort"

Two simple words. They look and sound similar, don't they? And, in fact, the relationship between them is very strong!

Please read the story below, which is based on a true one:

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There is a 21-year-old girl named Tania. She loves English and wants to buy Advanced Grammar in Use by Martin Hewings—one of my favorite English books—to improve her grammar. The problem is she doesn't have enough money.
One day, her friend offers her to be a data entry clerk for three days. "The wage is more than enough," she thinks, "I will be able to buy AGU!" Then, she decides to take the opportunity.

And. . . Deng deng deng~ AGU is in her hands!

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Effort → working for three days
Afford → AGU

So simple, so simple! But, often we only look at the "afford"! We don't pay attention to the "twin". We seem under hypnosis! Do we realize that it is like eating without a mouth or playing without a game? It is impossible. What would have happened if Tania had not taken the opportunity? We need to do something to get something. That's the precept.

Wake up! The world is a place for non-dreamers! The world is a place for vigorous men! The world is a place for real men making real efforts to get real results! And they are us, right? ;)

PSsstt. That's my true story. :p Continue reading