Have to

It's 2024! I am beyond grateful to still be alive and kicking at the present moment and able to continue relishing the glory emanated by the dinosaurs, English language, and Jay Chou. Some moment ago, the hardwiring of my brain produced an idea of carefully examining the simple phrase which is this post's title: have to. This two-word expression might look simple, but, I believe, the impact it makes on a human's life can be absolutely profound and far from negligible.

The expression have to denotes obligation. It shows that something is necessary and not doing so would mean something negative ensues. For the most part, obligation is indeed positive; it can establish peace and order, with which humans can thrive. However, I think we sometimes need to rethink this concept of having to do something, simply because perhaps we actually do not have to do it.

An example that springs to mind is marriage. So many people allow themselves to be bound in this romantic relationship such that it seems obligatory for humans to take wedding vows at some point in their lives. But is it? Does everyone have to place themselves in such a commitment? Does getting married ensure one lives an ideal, happy life?

Let's turn to lifestyle. Well-to-do people may cause some to drool over their luxuries and extravagance. But then a question arises: Do people have to be wealthy? Of course, nobody can be genuinely content with their lives if they are impecunious, but Stoicism says that in order to have peace of mind, you just have to be able to afford the basic necessities.

We could contemplate this eviternally. Do I have to reach the position of a director? A president? Do I have to have a child? Children? Do I have to buy a PS5? A Pagani? Do I have to possess a toned physique? A long, pointy nose? Do I have to travel to Japan? Study in the US? Live in a mansion? And the list infinitely goes on and on...

No single human is exactly the same as the other. We come from different backgrounds and have different tastes and preferences. Your have to might be different from my have to. This is not a one-size-fits-all matter. Many people may be surprised that they actually have far fewer have to's than there appear to be. Probably what we really have to do in life is simply become more recalcitrant. ;)