Me: Then and Now

Perhaps to most people the phrase "time flies" feels more and more true with age. Here I am in 2025, a quarter of the 21st century having flown by unthinkably powerful AI tools such as ChatGPT being household names all across the world such that "digital gods" might be an apt name for them. I was born on the pale blue dot in 1990, which means 35 years has passed since my accouchement and I have, more or less, another 35 years of having the privilege of residing on this Brobdingnagian life-supporting rock. (Or is it? We'll see.) Everything evolves, and so do I. Looking back to my much younger self, I can see quite a significant difference between him and my present self.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The most striking change I have experienced has to do with my holistic view on life. I grew up becoming a religious bigot who harbored bitter hatred for those not adhering to my deeply held belief. That period of my life was indeed grueling years, filled with continual unsatisfaction and intense stress which rendered me alamort. I could not become my real self and had to suppress the naturality inside me, which would otherwise have entered its anthesis in that timeframe. As odious as this psychological and behavioral phenomenon may seem, I am confident that I have figured out how it managed to grip my being, and others' for that matter, so firmly. The infectious ideological bigotry in human mind could be easily explained by our desire to extinguish fear in the simplest way possible. The problem is what is simple is not necessarily good, and what is simplest is not necessarily best. Science has enabled me to unmask this false thinking. It goes without saying that, as a dinosaur maniac, paleontology is the science that has played a vital role in decimating the pernicious mental illness.

I could almost laugh when thinking about the naivety exhibited by my past self. In my mind, life was destined to be a bed of roses. Justice would eventually prevail, everyone would inevitably reach happiness if they really wanted to, and so on and so forth. As dreamy as this thinking may appear, so far as I can tell, it is not in line with reality. If you are born in a war-torn country, the odds are your well-being will not be as good as those who aren't. Where your parturition takes place is aleatory – it is not something you can choose. You could win the lottery today and go into a coma the next day because some inebriated guy's car ploughs into your unfortunate body. There is just an unending list of things that are outside our control. This is where Stoicism comes into play. This ancient school of philosophy seems to have been gaining traction in recent years, and its popularity is a testament to its efficacy and practicality. While terrible things do happen, we can still (and have to) make the most of it. Focusing only on things within your control and loving the fate handed to you (amor fati) are two examples of Stoic practices and I find them incredibly potent and fulfilling.

"Purpose inherently exists in every human being." This is another thing in my mindset that has become obsolete. From a cosmic point of view, we have no purpose in this world. This may sound overly depressing and can leave us disoriented, but it can be liberating and uplifting instead. Although the universe did not impart purpose to us, we can create our own. Meaning is something that we ourselves determine and not something automatically dealt to us. Here is a profound quote from the extraordinary thinker Osho Rajneesh:

"People wonder why there seems to be no meaning in life. Meaning does not exist a priori. There is no meaning existing in life; one has to create it. Only if you create it will you discover it. It has to be invented first. It is not lying there like a rock, it has to be created like a song. It is not a thing, it is a significance that you bring through your consciousness." - The Book of Understanding: Creating Your Own Path to Freedom

Related to this is my realization of the vague distinction between good and bad. Dwelling in absolutism will not bear real fruit and only result in desperation. Which is better, being an employee or an entrepreneur? Is working as a doctor better than as an accountant? Should you get married or stay single? No one can say that one is absolutely good and the other is absolutely bad. I completely agree with Osho on this matter and I'd like to end this article with another eye-opening quote from the Indian guru:

"People have remained concerned about their acts: Which act is right and which act is wrong? What is good and what is evil? My own understanding is that it is not a question of any particular act. The question is about your psychology.

"When you are total, it is good; and when you are divided, it is evil. Divided you suffer; united, you dance, you sing, you celebrate." - The Book of Understanding: Creating Your Own Path to Freedom