Me: Then and Now

Perhaps to most people the phrase "time flies" feels more and more true with age. Here I am in 2025, a quarter of the 21st century having flown by unthinkably powerful AI tools such as ChatGPT being household names all across the world such that "digital gods" might be an apt name for them. I was born on the pale blue dot in 1990, which means 35 years has passed since my accouchement and I have, more or less, another 35 years of having the privilege of residing on this Brobdingnagian life-supporting rock. (Or is it? We'll see.) Everything evolves, and so do I. Looking back to my much younger self, I can see quite a significant difference between him and my present self.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The most striking change I have experienced has to do with my holistic view on life. I grew up becoming a religious bigot who harbored bitter hatred for those not adhering to my deeply held belief. That period of my life was indeed grueling years, filled with continual unsatisfaction and intense stress which rendered me alamort. I could not become my real self and had to suppress the naturality inside me, which would otherwise have entered its anthesis in that timeframe. As odious as this psychological and behavioral phenomenon may seem, I am confident that I have figured out how it managed to grip my being, and others' for that matter, so firmly. The infectious ideological bigotry in human mind could be easily explained by our desire to extinguish fear in the simplest way possible. The problem is what is simple is not necessarily good, and what is simplest is not necessarily best. Science has enabled me to unmask this false thinking. It goes without saying that, as a dinosaur maniac, paleontology is the science that has played a vital role in decimating the pernicious mental illness.

I could almost laugh when thinking about the naivety exhibited by my past self. In my mind, life was destined to be a bed of roses. Justice would eventually prevail, everyone would inevitably reach happiness if they really wanted to, and so on and so forth. As dreamy as this thinking may appear, so far as I can tell, it is not in line with reality. If you are born in a war-torn country, the odds are your well-being will not be as good as those who aren't. Where your parturition takes place is aleatory – it is not something you can choose. You could win the lottery today and go into a coma the next day because some inebriated guy's car ploughs into your unfortunate body. There is just an unending list of things that are outside our control. This is where Stoicism comes into play. This ancient school of philosophy seems to have been gaining traction in recent years, and its popularity is a testament to its efficacy and practicality. While terrible things do happen, we can still (and have to) make the most of it. Focusing only on things within your control and loving the fate handed to you (amor fati) are two examples of Stoic practices and I find them incredibly potent and fulfilling.

"Purpose inherently exists in every human being." This is another thing in my mindset that has become obsolete. From a cosmic point of view, we have no purpose in this world. This may sound overly depressing and can leave us disoriented, but it can be liberating and uplifting instead. Although the universe did not impart purpose to us, we can create our own. Meaning is something that we ourselves determine and not something automatically dealt to us. Here is a profound quote from the extraordinary thinker Osho Rajneesh:

"People wonder why there seems to be no meaning in life. Meaning does not exist a priori. There is no meaning existing in life; one has to create it. Only if you create it will you discover it. It has to be invented first. It is not lying there like a rock, it has to be created like a song. It is not a thing, it is a significance that you bring through your consciousness." - The Book of Understanding: Creating Your Own Path to Freedom

Related to this is my realization of the vague distinction between good and bad. Dwelling in absolutism will not bear real fruit and only result in desperation. Which is better, being an employee or an entrepreneur? Is working as a doctor better than as an accountant? Should you get married or stay single? No one can say that one is absolutely good and the other is absolutely bad. I completely agree with Osho on this matter and I'd like to end this article with another eye-opening quote from the Indian guru:

"People have remained concerned about their acts: Which act is right and which act is wrong? What is good and what is evil? My own understanding is that it is not a question of any particular act. The question is about your psychology.

"When you are total, it is good; and when you are divided, it is evil. Divided you suffer; united, you dance, you sing, you celebrate." - The Book of Understanding: Creating Your Own Path to Freedom

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The Lexicologist's Handbook – Book Review

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The Lexicologist's Handbook: A Dictionary of Unusual Words

by Dane Cobain

I have been fascinated by English for eons. The joy of learning and exploring this language is immense, so much so that I ended up becoming an EFL teacher in my country, Indonesia. Although grammar is the aspect that got me hooked in the first place and played a primary role in setting my life trajectory, the beauty and richness of the English vocabulary is unlimited food for my insatiable linguistic appetite. The Lexicologist's Handbook by Dane Cobain is such a terrific resource for this never-ending adventure.

This book is basically a dictionary – but not a usual one. It is jam-packed with unusual, rare, fancy, or otherwise cool English words that will imbue readers with lexical superpower. In each entry, there is information on the word's pronunciation, type(s), definition(s), and example sentence(s), which enables you to understand the word thoroughly and primes you to use it in real-life situations, impressing your fellow humans linguistically.

Howbeit, considering The Lexicologist's Handbook is aimed at learners of English and educational in nature, I wish the accuracy of the content were higher. I have encountered a number of mistakes, one of which is "Amphitheatre" being misspelled as "Ampitheatre". On top of that, the pronunciation feature could be enhanced by adding information on stress position.

On the whole, The Lexicologist's Handbook by Dane Cobain is a spectacular addition to English literature. If you are bored of using ordinary expressions or looking to diversify your vocabulary, I highly recommend reading this tremendous lexical booster!

Have you read The Lexicologist's Handbook? Do you agree with my opinion? Share what you think in the comment section below!

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Quote #123

"In a sea of the insane, the sensical are deemed to be the insane and vice versa." - Klinsman Hinjaya

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Dinosaurs: 10 Things You Should Know – Book Review

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Dinosaurs: 10 Things You Should Know

by Dr Dean Lomax

Wow, wow, wow! What a stupendous book! In an "eggshell", Dinosaurs: 10 Things You Should Know by Dr Dean Lomax is a superlative summary of the dinosaur world, perfect for people who are curious about the prehistoric icons but do not have much time to devote to studying them in depth.

Just like the author's last name – low but max (tongue in cheek) – this book is a paradox. It is very modest in size but contains a wealth of information on dinosaurs, which has been carefully selected such that only the most important is presented (for example, while terminology inevitably exists, it is not overwhelmingly present). Dr Dean Lomax is an exceptionally fine writer; he writes with remarkable clarity and I am really fascinated by his style, which is conversational but engaging and absorbing! It is also evident throughout the book that the British paleontologist is so deeply in love with the subject. His contagious exuberance reminds me of fellow paleontologist Steve Brusatte, the author of The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs, another dinosaurian tour de force.

If you are in a hurry but dying to know more about the dinosaurs, I wholeheartedly recommend Dinosaurs: 10 Things You Should Know by Dr Dean Lomax, a magnificently written and enormously enjoyable piece of dinosaur literature!

Have you read Dinosaurs: 10 Things You Should Know? What is your opinion on this book? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

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Eternality

The sloshing pristine water at the pond's edge

Nudges me to your reflection

The unmatched grace

Your pulchritudinous face

All your flawless features floating in front of my melancholic visage

The good old days

Were buried deep in the past

Yet our romantic scenes are still pellucid as ever

Numberless rainy days

Never blemish our trysts anywise

The dulcet tune of your existence

Is a spring of joy for mine

I will embosom it

Preserving this priceless piece of yours

To futurity and beyond

Sipping warm latte in the mahogany ladder-back chair

Crepuscular light streaming through the bamboo Venetian blinds

I can't help but smile

Realizing that this is just another day

For our everlasting rendezvous

The creation of this poem was requested by Melvina and inspired by Yu Xia Yi Zheng Wan (雨下一整晚) by Jay Chou.

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Homophones Visualized – Book Review

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Homophones Visualized

by Bruce Worden

Watt a grate book!

Homophones, words that sound the same but have different meanings, can be annoying (the title is a good example). Homophones Visualized by Bruce Worden is a wonderful reference which showcases simple yet informative illustrations explaining the differences between a good selection of homophones in English. If you want to learn this linguistic phenomenon in a fun, playful, and entertaining manner, this witty book is just for you! I also find it intriguing that the author's name, Bruce Worden, contains "word" in it (it is as if he is destined to write such books). I really enjoyed Homophones Visualized greatly (no mistake this time) and I hope you do two! ;-)

Note that this book is to be read from the American English standpoint. Thus, some of the content may not make sense, say, from the perspective of British English.

Have you read Homophones Visualized? What are your thoughts on this book? Share your opinion in the comment section below!

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A Reflection on Death

My dad has just passed away. At the age of 67, after battling liver cirrhosis for many years, he finally succumbed to the medical condition. My relationship with him would not have been described as best; we had a multiple-year-old feud until recently, when we naturally made it up. One thing I will never forget is the fact that he took me on his motorcycle to Jay Chou's first concert in Jakarta back in 2013, for which I am infinitely grateful. (Thank you, Dad! 🙏🏻💙✨)

My late father, Hendry Budiman, resting in his casket in Husada Funeral Home, Mangga Besar, Jakarta (photo taken on May 1, 2025)

A portrait of my late father, Hendry Budiman (photo taken probably on May 3, 2013)

Despite our not-so-close relationship, I couldn't prevent myself from shedding tears. I think it's perfectly natural for us humans to cry for a deceased person who has been with us for a long time; their departure from life is a natural tearjerker. This was certainly a sad moment for me and my family, and I would like to thank everyone who expressed their love and support during the bereavement period. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

The death of my direct male progenitor has consequently shoved me into a state of reflection. That day would and has come. My father has ceased living in this world, completely losing consciousness and transforming into nonliving matter. This serves as a poignant reminder of the ephemerality of our lives. Our time on this planet is incredibly short, and the clock is continuously ticking, unable to be stopped. Conscious of this fact, we need to get our act together, before it is too late. Sing, dance, travel, smile, play, love, explore, ... the list is endless. Do what you want while time is still available, and relish the present to the fullest because now is the most important moment of all. This is the essence of the Stoic practice of memento mori; the great philosopher Epictetus instructs us to "let death put everything in perspective".

Death can seem odious and petrifying. The thought of having your mind shut down and your existence zapped can certainly drive you nuts! However, if we take a helicopter view of life, we can see it through a completely different lens and stop being neurotic. Dr. Kenneth Lacovara points out in his interview with FRANCE 24 English: "Everybody dies. That's what people do. That's what organisms do." It is just part of the workings of nature. Rather than lamenting this biological phenomenon, I think it is prudent to "celebrate" it as a fact of life. Dwelling in romanticization will bring about more bad than good. Reality will not change through wishful thinking: facing up to it is the only way.

I would like to conclude this article with words from the preeminent guru Osho Rajneesh:

"I do not want life to be taken seriously. Seriousness is a kind of psychological disease. Life has to be a fun. Life has to be a rejoicing, a dance, a song, a love affair. In such a small life, being serious is simply wasting the opportunity. That's what I mean when I said it is a circus; it should be everywhere a circus, and we should turn everything in playfulness. But people are so heavy and long-faces, and so burdened and carrying loads on them. And life is so short, soon you will be reaching to your grave. Before reaching to the grave, have a little dance, a little drink."

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